How to Ask a Woman Out
Are you ready? Good!
Now, the first thing to do is prepare yourself for the approach. Whether it’s wiping the foam out of the corners of your mouth, running your hands through your hair – it doesn’t matter; just make sure that you feel like you look your best at the moment the woman first sees you. No, it doesn’t matter that you’re dressed your best. The important thing is that you tried – you tried to look your best. You don’t want to walk up to a woman and be preoccupied with thoughts like ‘I wish I would have run some water over my face’ or ‘is my fly zipped?’ No! You need to have your act down, buddy – prep yourself with a consistent ritual that brings success your way. Like a pitcher in a game, you need to have your routine down; anything else could prove to be a superstitious disaster. Know yourself and you’ll know how to win the game!
Once you’re primped and prepped, you need to know what you’re going to say. By the way, no f’ing one-liners. Who do you think you are, Andrew Dice Clay? Get it together. You’re an interesting person, right? Okay, so maybe you aren’t – but if you don’t have anything interesting to say, why are you talking? Think of something interesting to say before you say ‘hello.’ And I stress hello. Do you know what most women answer when they’re asked what line works best for them? They all reply the same: ‘Hello.’ No gimmicks, no b.s. Do you want to build a relationship on a foundation of sh*t? Of course you don’t!
Still, it’s not imperative to have something actually interesting to say, just something – anything will work – just make sure that it somehow compliments the female. Anybody loves compliments. And there are ways to compliment someone and start a conversation, thus killing two birds with one stone. Example: ‘Hello, that’s a lovely shirt… red… you aren’t communist are you?’
Okay, bad example. But it’s still a winner because: 1. You’ve grabbed her attention; 2. You’ve complimented her; 3. You’ve gained power.
I say ‘gained power’ because there’s a certain paradox one enters when asking a woman out. You can’t overpower a female with your presence, and you can’t come up powerless. There’s a mutual need that each person involved must overcome; the need for power in a relationship is something to establish immediately. In the above example, no matter how bad it is, you’ve said something that demands an immediate response. Depending on how you react to that response will take the communication in the direction you want it to. For instance, coming up to a female and subtly accusing her of being a communist revolutionary might be a little abrasive but, since you’ve complimented the shirt, she owes you that equal amount of positivity. It’s a balance: you can’t be too nice, you can’t be too mean; you need control, but you need to be controlled.
Really, there is no such thing as power when asking a legitimate female out. If you’re the type of guy that needs to overpower females at all times in order to get laid, then just passive-aggressively hit on loose, skanky women until they give in and go home with you; disregard all aforementioned advise and don’t bother to read on.
Asking a woman out is about establishing credibility. As we all know, this takes time. Let’s recap the approach before we move on to the actual ‘asking out’ of the woman. First, there’s the preparational ritual: get yourself thinking you look your best and are ready to throw some hot mama a major curve ball. Second, there’s the greeting: say hello, you idiot, and be honest about it. Third, there’s the conversation-starter: don’t worry about telling her about your Nobel Prize, you’ll have plenty of time to work up to a real first impression when you’re on your date. Finally, there’s the establishment of power: this has nothing to do with overpowering one another, but setting up the challenge of maintaining an interesting, meaningful conversation while maintaining a comfortable amount of space; you don’t want to crowd a woman before asking her out, nor do you want her crowding you out of desperation!
Fantastic. Now, onto asking her out…
If all has gone well up to this point, you need to ask this girl out! This should not be looked at as a big deal from the progress you’ve made so far, regarding communication. Rather, it should be considered a capstone to the whole experience. But, please, be sure to follow these next few steps in order to ask the woman out in mature manner.
First, you need to get her number. Regardless of where you meet her (a bar, at work, in the grocery store) you should ask for her number. Make sure to do this before she says goodbye or walks away! Women need to leave for a variety of reasons, not just because you’re a revolting individual; don’t take it personally if the female flees. Just get that number, otherwise you won’t be able to progress to the next step.
Now, it comes the time to call her. Just like every other conversation, you need to be yourself! There’s a cryptic saying: deceivers of self sell salt. Remember this, because you never need to be deceptive – it’s evil, manipulative. Worst of all, the woman will find you out! Once you’ve told a lie (especially this soon in the relationship) you might as well consider it over, or not worth the trouble. If things work out up to this point, and you’ve found yourself on a new level with your own honest goodness, you’re in! You’ve come too far to not ask the girl on a date and she’s beyond the point of no return! Ask her out for a night on the town.
[For more advice on dating, specifically the first date, read my other articles on relationships.]
