How to Build Sexual Self Confidence

Everyone has a few confidence problems, whether pertaining to sex, dating, marriage or something else. There are things that we would like to change about ourselves, things that we are sure must be glaringly obvious to members of the opposite sex. So how can we overcome sexual self confidence issues, and how can we know if we are obviously intimidated?

My issue was always with first sexual experiences. Anytime I knew that I would be having sex with a womn for the first time, I would experience the sweaty palms and racing pulse of a teenage boy on his first date, which was, to say the least, embarrassing. Once that first sexual encounter was over, however, I would regain my sexual self confidence and move on.

Now I don’t have to worry about that anymore, since I have found the only woman I will ever have sex with again, but over the course of our marriage, other self confidence issues have cropped up, and I’ve had to deal with them just like I’ve dealt with others.

In most cases, sexual self confidence issues are based on the unknown, because that is all we really fear. When we have no idea how someone will react to the things we do, anxiety runs rampant and we aren’t calmed until it’s over.

Here are a few tips that might help you to overcome self confidence issues:

1. Know that others feel the same way.

Whatever sexual self confidence issue might plague your mind, please know that someone else has experienced it before. Whether it be physical or psychological, other men and women have worried about the same things, which means that you are by no means alone.

2. Be open about it.

I have had very few bad dating experiences, and all the women I’ve been with have been open, honest, caring individuals. Had I told them about my insecurities before we had sex, they probably would have done whatever they could to make me feel better. If you are unable to be open about sexual self confidence issues with your partner, then chances are you’ve chosen the wrong one.

3. Give yourself a break.

When you feel overwhelmed by sexual insecurity, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Berating yourself for your lack of sexual confidence will only serve to make you more anxious. Instead, come to terms with the issue and work through it. If you have a great sexual partner, he or she will help.

4. Meet the issue head on.

The only way to allay your fears is to do whatever is bothering you so much. Avoiding oral sex because you’re afraid you’ll do it wrong will never make the problem go away. Eventually, a partner will ask you to do it, and then what are you going to say? Instead, tell your partner to guide you through it, and to tell you if he or she wants something different. Eventually, you will get better at it.