How to Cope With a Pushy Grandparent

As many of us know it is not easy for one generation to impart to the next an appreciation for its own experience. Usually something is lacking. Although grandparents have good intentions, they seem to always be interfering in everyday family affairs of their married children. Most of the time the grandparent’s end up complaining that the parents are either too strict,or too lax with their grandchildren.

Maybe they intervene because they would like their children to avoid some of the mistakes they made, when they were raising them. There are times when an impenetrable wall of lack of mutual understanding isolates the grandparents from the rest of the family, even in cases when they live with their children. The really sad part is that this usually occurs at the time when the years begin to weigh heavily, on the grandparents and they have an even greater need for affection.

The tension that results from deteriorating family relations also seems to cause continual complaints of one generation against the other. One person may feel that whatever another is doing is wrong. Often what happens is that the children observe how their parents treat the grandparents and in turn how their grandparents react. Because of this their own future patterns of behavior are influenced. Once they become adults they may even treat their own parents the same way. There are many difficulties in keeping a family close, and are sometimes aggravated by divorce.

By having a warm and affectionate relationship with the grandparents, it can be a great benefit to all. There is no law that says you have to agree on everything all of the time. But the grandparents need to understand that this is your house, your rules, and your children. There are some steps that you can take to help overcome your personal differences, and generation gaps. As many grandparents will tell you there is an art to being a grandparent. Being a grandparent, involves more that just occasional baby-sitting. In a desire to share the happiness of giving many grandparents take pleasure in providing gifts or toys to their grandchildren, but some do it way to often. It has been my experience that grandparents also tend to give gifts at the wrong time. For example when you have just put your child on punishment for some bad behavior. Then without even asking you, they stop by with a new toy. It is important that you explain to them that you do not want your children to be spoiled.

I also get annoyed, because the kids tend to expect toys every time my parents visits. One thing that is necessary for us to do is communicate our feelings to the grandparents. Do not be afraid to let them know how you really feel. Grandparents need to take the time to listen to their children’s problems. Also grandparents should not scheme to help the children hide things from their parents, because they do not want to see them get into trouble. The entire family can benefit from having a good and loving relationship with the grandparents. No matter what their age grandparents have so much to offer their grandchildren. And if you disagree with a view of your parents, then just share your thought with them, without become overly annoyed. You want to help them see things from your perspective. Even if you know you are right, it is not always wise to insist on it right now. It is important to keep the door of communication open.