How to Deal with the Loss of a Parent
The loss of a parent is a horrible thing for anyone to endure. My father passed away three and a half years ago from Lou Gehrig’s Disease (ALS). Right after my loss, I did a lot of research trying to discover ways to get passed my grief. Dealing with the loss of a parent is different for everyone. A young child will react differently than an adult when faced with the loss of a parent. I dealt with my loss as an adult with children of my own. While dealing with my loss, I found that grieving is very similar in most people.
Here are a few things to help you deal with the loss of a parent.
Time- People say that time heals all. I feel that time doesn’t actually heal but it definitely can help lessen the pain of lossing a parent. For months after losing my dad I would break down in tears at the drop of a hat. Anything that reminded me of him would cause tears. Eventually as time passed the moments of despair lessened and didn’t arrive as frequently. So time does help.
Break Down- When faced with the loss of a parent there is nothing more natural than to shed tears. Sometimes it may take a few days for the reality of your loss to hit you. You may be very busy dealing with the funeral and all of the arrangements that go with it but when things settle down and you finally have time to realize that you have indeed lost your parent, most people will break down. I have found that this is something my body needed to do when dealing with the loss of my parent. Go ahead and cry or scream. It will make you feel a little better in the end.
Turn To Loved Ones- Sometimes it is easier to grieve the loss of a parent when you do so with a loved one who is dealing with the same loss. Your family and friends can be a great support during this time in your life. If you have siblings that are enduring the same parental loss, lean on each other. You need them and they need you. Your family knows what you are feeling since they are probably feeling the same emotions.
Books- When dealing with the loss of a parent it might be easier to read a book about grief. There are thousands of books out there that discuss how to deal with the loss of a parent. Do a search at any book store or library and you will find something that pertains to you and the emotions that you are feeling.
Counseling- If you find that you are unable to deal with the loss of a parent on your own, you may benefit from counseling. There are many wonderful couselors out there that specialze in grief. You may even be able to find some that will provide their services free of charge.
Religion- If you are a religious person it may be comforting to turn to you religion to help you deal with the loss of a parent. Many religious leaders will happily provide counsel to you while you are greiving. Prayer helps many people get through their days during this stressful period.
Rememberance- Doing something in rememberance can help when dealing with the loss of a parent. You could plant a tree, make a donation in memory of your parent to their favorite charity or just do something that your loved one enjoyed. You could even choose an activity to do every year, on the day of their passing, in rememberance of your parent. You may want to just have a birthday party for your parent every year when their birthday rolls around. Doing anything in rememberance will help you feel that they are still a part of you.
Talk- Talking about your parent can bring you joy. Talk about the things they liked, the things you had done together, the places they had visited. Tell your children about your parent and the things you think your parent would have liked your children to know about them. Talking can help so much. After all these years my daughters will still ask me things about my dad. I’m always happy to answer any questions they want to ask about him.
With these tips you, too, can survive the loss of a parent. Some days will be harder than others but hold tight to the love and memories that you have of your mom or dad. In the end these memories will help carry you through the rest of your life.
