How to Decide to Go on a Third Date

The first date was typical. It got off to a rocky start with nerves revealing themselves early on. Sipping wine helped calm the butterflies that lurked just beneath the surface. Another glass of wine and the talk turned from “SoooâÂ?¦ do you like your work?” to laughing as he told you the story about his first rock climbing expedition. Lightning bolts didn’t streak out of the sky, but the time spent together was enjoyable and entertaining. After the third glass of wine and another story he asked if he could call again. Nodding with a smile, the evening ended. Each person went their own way.

Two days later, he called to ask you out on Friday night. The classical Friday night date, dinner and a movie proved to be enjoyable as well. Yet something was missing. Not able to put a finger on it, you analyze the date from beginning to end�
1.Prompt – called within the rule of thumb three days and picked you up on time
2.Italian restaurant with good ambiance and plenty of time for talking
3.Action movie – definitely a guy shoot ’em up, bang bang sort of film
4.Ride home – rehashing of good guy blasts bad guy movie
5.Kiss at door� kiss at door� kiss at door�

He called you as soon as he got home to tell you what a great time he had and what are you doing next Sunday? You bite your lower lip, ping the antennae of your cell phone and tell him you need to check your schedule, but you’ll get back to him tomorrow.

How do you decide if you really want to go out a third time? And if you do go out a third time what message are you sending? You have less than one day to decide if this guy is worth your time. What to do�what to do�

You hit the nail on the head with, “is this guy worth your time?” That is the number question to ask yourself. Answer it honestly and the rest may follow, but just in case you need substance to your decision, continue on.

Ask yourself these questions:

1.Did you both select where you wanted to go? Did he or you make all the decisions?

2.Was he respectful of your wishes? If you opted out of the kiss at the door, did he force himself on you in any way?

3.Do you find him interesting? Does he find you interesting? How can you tell? Does he listen when you speak or is his mind and eyes wandering?

4.When you converse does he look in your eyes, at least part of the time?

5.Do you have things in common? Having hobbies, interests, or activities in common creates a bond. However, opposites can attract but each person must be willing to try new experiences and step out their comfort zone from time to time.

6.Do you feel at ease with him? Does the conversation between the two of you flow freely? Are they’re long lapses of uncomfortable silence? There’s nothing wrong with a pregnant pause as long as it doesn’t stretch out into a wiggling in the seat, shuffling feet sort of quiet.

7.Are there any signs of a gamer? If someone is jerking your chain you should be able to figure it out; run as fast as you can out the door or at least say no to date number three.

8.Have either of you contacted the other to just talk or only to arrange dates?

9.Do you feel uncomfortable in any way? Listen to your gut instinct, it seldom leads you astray.

10.How would you feel if you met his family? Of course it’s too early in the second inning to actually go there, but take a moment and think about it. Do you feel secure enough with him that meeting his family would not be a problem? This is a telling sign.

Once you’ve answered all or even some of these questions you should have a good handle on whether a third date is where you want to go. If you do, congratulations! You may be on your way to a relationship. Take it easy. Don’t rush headlong into anything. Enjoy the journey and let things fall into place in due time.

If you decide to opt out of a third date, pull out your manners and compassion. Be straight forward and simply decline the invitation of a third date with style and panache. You do not owe anyone a long explanation, but keep in mind how you would feel if the table was turned. Be kind and considerate.

Use these basic questions and you’ll discover that deciding on a third date or not is just a quick analyzing of where you’ve been in the first two dates and where you might want it to go.