How to Detect a Dating Player
A player or gamer is someone who uses romance and various manipulations to get what he/she wants when they want it. For men this is usually sex and for women, sometimes called playettes, it could be anything from sex to diamonds. It may be a protective layer that isn’t ready to be open to the possibilities of a relationship or it may be a way to get a kick out of how far they can go before the jig is up or maybe they just want to put another notch on the belt of sexual encounters. Regardless of the underlying reason why someone plays games, if the smell of fire is apparent, get out before the house burns down.
The Case of the Married but Looking
If you’re single and out there in any way you may well come across this notorious gamer. The merry frolic is thisâÂ?¦ blissfully wedded is not in the language of this game player, however, not ready to toss in the towel, the married but looking takes to the streets to find someone gullible and/or needy enough to allow themselves to be taken in by the ruse. The game usually begins with “hide the ring in the pocket” so there’s no physical evidence of a signed license hiding in an iron box tucked away. The game really begins when the conversation and dating begins. Sure signs that your partner in this relationship is married: Asks for your phone number but won’t reciprocate. Now some people don’t think twice about this because they would just as soon be called rather than do the calling. Moving onâÂ?¦ Only calls you during the week between the hours of 9-5. What’s going on the other 16 hours of the day? You’ll never see the inside of the gamer’s home. No way, no how, ain’t gonna happen. It’s your place or no place. While driving down the street you suddenly find your head on the seat with a hand holding it down. Yes, my friend, this really happens. An acquaintance happened by and you are not to be seen.
The good thing about the married but looking player is you’ll soon figure it out and a confrontation will occur. You’ll hear the stories of being unloved and misunderstood. You’ll be told that sex is non-existent in the life of the married but looking. Explanations of how testing the waters are important before an ultimate decision is made will flow. Poppycock! Now is the time to say a firm goodbye and boot the misunderstood tush to the curb. Change the locks and head out to discover the next gamer.
The Case of the Lookin’ for Love Gamer
Most people in this world are looking for love unless they’ve all ready found it. You’re probably looking for love and hoping to find it. FYI, most gamers are lookin’ for love, all right, but not for a lifetime, not even for a week. They’re lookin’ for love tonight. This gamer will hang on your every word. Tell you how wonderful you are, notice the glint in your eyes, the way you move, sexy, like a sleek cat. A shower of praises will wash over you and you may find yourself basking in the sensual magnetism of the person sitting next to you. As much as we all love to be told how adorable we are, how well do you really know this person? Are you hearing cold hard facts? Are you being engaged in honest to goodness conversation about life? If the answer is no, you must scurry out the door and do not look back.
Case of the I’m Too Sexy for My Car Gamer
Yikes! Oozing sex from every pore in the body, this player is all about the me. Every sentence starts with “I” as the aloof sex god or goddess checks out their manicure, flipping hair and leaning over to reveal cleavage or a shirt unbuttoned to reveal more chest than necessary. This is a player that’s always teasing but too high on a pedestal of their own making to actually be touched. Don’t bother trying to discuss the headlines of the day; they only watch Style and E! to find out what the latest fashions are. When it’s time to leave, a laugh escapes as they check themselves out in the window before sidling into a car that just isn’t enough for them. The problem arises when you find yourself taken in by their very handsome beauty with thoughts like, “Wow this gorgeous man/woman finds ME interesting!” Stop! Look! Listen! Be certain before taking the next step that it’s actual interest and not an ulterior motive that drives them toward you.
Case of the I’ll Trample Your Heart Gamer
This is the absolute worst gamer of all. This one leads you into a sense of false security with promises and double talk. You sit enraptured as tales of romantic evenings to be waft your way from a silken tongue. It’s always next week we’llâÂ?¦ but when next weeks arrives a thousand excuses pour from the soul of this game player. At first, you believe because the sincerity and integrity displayed seems real. With soulful eyes and unwavering words this gamer fills your head with all the sweet nothings you’ve always wanted to hear. Knowing what to say, how to say it and when to say it is a pivotal part of the game plan. How could you not believe this trusting, compassionate person? Without warning it all comes to an end. Usually it’s the gamer who moves on without a word or because the love is too great to stand. Hogwash and bullshit! The game ends for whatever reason, but the gamer comes out smelling like a rose and you’re left holding the thorns of a stem that stabs right into the heart.
A few quick notes on how to break open the code in the first meeting:
1.If it’s too good to be true, it probably isn’t. If your first thoughts are “WOW” this is an amazing person who’s unbelievably wonderful! You can bet your Jimmy Choos that you’ve been whipped into a frenzy by a master player. Stay awhile and find out more, but have the radar stoked and ready especially if your hearing all kinds of marvelous, out of the ordinary things like, “I’ve never met anyone quite like you” of course this is after an entire 5 minutes of sipping wine together.
2.Listen to your inner voice. It’s a puzzle you can’t quite solve; a nagging feeling that won’t go away. If you just don’t feel comfortable, make your excuses and walk away with haste.
3.Some game players are so obvious that for anyone to be fooled would be a ridiculous notion. No matter how charming, beautiful, or rich they appear to be, don’t give in to the temptation that they might come around to asking about you. They probably won’t.
4.If you find yourself doing all the giving and the other party the taking, hie ye out of the state your in immediately.
5.Stay out of the denial zone. You cannot deny what you see, hear, or feel nor can you change someone. Don’t even go there.
6.If there is no intimacy in the relationship beyond sex, you’re in a players clutches. They do know all the right things to say and they do have the moves down pat, but no one wants to be part of a couple that is actually something moreâÂ?¦ more people involved with the player.
The bottom line is that, sometimes, we allow ourselves to be taken in by people who are more into playing games than seeking out “the one”. The gamer may play a cool, sweep you off your feet hand or the compassionate, I feel for the world game. There are as many tools in the gamer’s toolbox as there are stars in the sky. Just don’t let YOU be taken in the next time you’re out playing the field.
