How to Find Free Wedding Vows and Write Your Own
Deciding to go for something unique can make things feel even more complicated. The sheer number of categories of vows which include non-traditional, 2nd marriages, “family vows” to include children coming into the marriage, vows for older couples, renewal vows, religious variations, ring vows, and vows from classical literature by people like Keats, Browning, Gibran, and other classical poets. The list goes on. The art of making your wedding vows “your own” is in having them speak to you, convey a message that makes your feelings and intentions clear to your partner.
Finding Unique Wedding Vows
Many couples choose to combine traditional wedding vows with their own written words. There are many internet sites to get great ideas and sample wedding vows from, but to get you off on a steady start I’ve included some of the most popular here. These free wedding vows are yours to use and modify as you wish.
Today, (name), I join my life to yours, not merely as your (husband/wife),
but as your friend, your lover, and your confidant.
Let me be the shoulder you lean on,
the rock on which you rest,
the companion of your life.
With you I will walk my path from this day forward.
What have I to give you, (name)?
The promise to take you as my only love from this day forward,
to stand by your side, to listen when you speak,
to comfort you when you cry,
and to join your laughter with my own.
Take this ring, and be my (husband/wife)
Two flames, one light.
(Name), I offer you this ring as a sign of life,
and myself as your (husband/wife).
Let us walk together always,
and let us always walk towards the light.
Love has given us wings, and our journey begins today,
(Name), wherever the wind may carry me,
I will stay by your side as your (husband/wife),
Take this ring as a sign of my love.
Whatever lies ahead, good or bad, we will face together.
Distance may test us for a time, and time may trie us.
But if we look to each other first, we will always see a friend.
(Name), look to me for all the days to come;
today I take my place as your (husband/wife).
Writing Your Own Wedding Vows
The expression of your heart in words is a beautiful thing, whether you are the original author of those words or not. After you have written your vows, why not print them out on specialty paper and have it framed? This keepsake makes a beautiful gift to your partner on the wedding day.
Wedding vows, in all their many forms, are words of commitment that will echo through your marriage for years to come. Taking the time to make them beautiful is something you will never regret. To get you started, compiled here are 10 tips to writing your own wedding vows.
1. Get a lined notebook to start with; you will want lots of space for scribbling and re-writing. On the first sheet in the notebook, list the numbers 1-10 down the left side. Without stopping to think about what you’re writing, fill those numbers in with your response to: “I love my partner because…”
2. Turn the page, and start a new list. This one doesn’t have to be as long – only 4-5 items, but this time concentrate on yourself. What do you bring to this marriage? What promises do you make? Think about these carefully; what vows, specifically, are you giving to this very special person?
3. Now it’s time to decide whether the two of you are going to say the same vows, or individual ones. If you’re working together, share the first two pages with each other; see where you overlap, mark what things you’ve written in common. These promises and statements of love are what will mean most to both of you. Narrow your first list down to three or four things total that you absolutely love and write everything down on a clean page.
4. Now take a big gulp – there’s one last preparation question to ask yourself. Your wedding vows should indicate the duration of your commitment to your partner. Some couples uses phrases like, “Through all our years, and in all that life may bring us…” or the more traditional, “As long as we both shall live”. Your wedding vows are a verbal commitment to your partner, in both moral and legal senses a binding contract. How long does your contract last?
5. Combine the items on your lists together with the statement of duration. What words do you need to add in order to make it flow smoothly? Often, couples will find that just by placing all the pieces together they have a nearly perfect wedding vow. Try referencing classical literature or a musical group that you both love; you can use the style of wording in these to tie everything together in a manner that will mean something to you and your partner.
When you have hashed out your wedding vows in a way that you really like, copy them on to yet another clean piece of paper and read them aloud to someone other than your partner. How does it feel to speak these words out loud? Have you said anything that you’d be embarrassed to speak in public (or that would embarrass your partner)? Make whatever changes you need to, and then set your vows aside.
The wedding vows you have created is one of the greatest gifts you’ll ever make; let yourself feel good about them.
