How to Fly Solo with a Toddler
I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve flown with my son, back and forth between Dubai, United Arab Emirates, and the United States. It’s probably a good thing. Like childbirth, I eventually forget the most painful moments of flying with a toddler and am ready to do it again. It’s always just the two of us, and in a few weeks, we’ll be hopping aboard yet another 777 to fly the friendly skies. By now, I think I’ve learned a few tricks about flying with a toddler to keep those skies friendly.
Flying with a Toddler Tip #1: Always accept help. If no one offers, ask.
My first solo, trans-continental flight with the kid, I was loaded for bear. I had the car seat. I had the stroller. I had a big carry on bag for me, and a big carry on for the King of Everything. I had a porter who lugged the gear to the boarding gate for me. And then I was on my own.
Flying with a Toddler Tip #2: Check airline regulations regarding car seats. Be sure your car seat will fit in the airplane seat.
The gate attendants helped get everything onto the airplane, and the steward helped get everything stowed away… everything but the car seat. It was too big for my economy seat. The steward said something about being unable to check it all the way through, which meant I’d have to retrieve it on our stopover. I begged him to throw it away. Repeatedly. He very kindly checked the behemoth through to Dubai. Many airlines don’t even let you use your car seat on the plane, even if the child has his or her own seat.
Flying with a Toddler Tip #3: Give your child something to suck or chew during takeoff and landing to ease the air pressure buildup on sensitive ears.
We were finally settled in. My babe was strapped to me with the extra seatbelt, and the airplane took off. Babies all around us were crying their little hearts out, but my kid was Zen. Why? I nursed him on takeoff. Covered us up with a pashmina and he was a happy camper. If that’s not an option, be ready with a bottle, a pacifier, a sippy cup, whatever works.
Flying with a Toddler Tip #4: No matter how many toys you pack, the only things your child will want to play with are the table tray and the seat back television.
Airplanes are a good place for little kids to learn about rules, and how they apply to the greater world. Show them the graphics that mean, “No smoking” and “Fasten Seat Belt”. It makes you the Good Cop and removes any conflict from the situation when your child understands that these rules are for everyone, and that the Pilot made them – they aren’t even your rules! You are going to have to gently remind your little traveller that when the airplane is going up or going down, the tray table must stay locked away, every thirty seconds or so. I’m just warning you.
Speaking of table trays: I only pack one favourite game, one beloved stuffed animal, and one new toy, as a surprise for my son to open on the plane. Colouring books are light and simple, if you don’t mind digging in the seat cushions for lost crayons. The airlines still give toys to children on long flights, so let those toys entertain.
Tip #5: If it can’t fit underneath the seat, consider leaving it at home.
I can’t stand getting up and down fifteen times a flight to get something out of the carry-on stowed above my head. It’s a pain, sometimes literally. I have a single carry-on, with wheels, that is small enough to fit under the seat (think 9″ x 11″x 21″). I pack it with smaller, zip lock bags inside, so that I can pull out the toy bag, or the diaper bag, or the snack bag, easily. The only exception to my rule is when I’m travelling from hot to cold or vice versa. Then, my overhead bag holds our warm clothes, and my smaller bag travels attached to the bigger bag’s handle in between flights.
Tip #6: Keep a sense of humour at all times.
We can only pray that our children fall asleep on the plane and don’t wake up til landing. It doesn’t always work that way, and I remember a moment of utter panic when I realized I could no longer hold my eyes open, but my child was still wide awake. Talk to the flight crew. They will at least keep an eye out for escaped babies. Not all children are calm travellers. The first time our plane hit turbulence, my guy started screaming, “The plane is falling! The PLANE IS FALLING!” only in French, so half the passengers were blissfully unaware of their doom. “No, no,” I soothed. “Silly boy. The plane isn’t falling. It’s bouncing!” and we proceeded to bounce our way from Dulles International Airport to Charles de Gaule to Dubai.
Tip #7: Ask the airline about bulkhead bassinets (usually for children under 18 months)
Buy a seat if you can afford it, even if your child is under two. In all the times we’ve made the trip, we’ve only once been able to get an empty seat for the King of everything to stretch out. It was a long flight for me when my incredibly tall babe stayed on my lap. Good news is, most airlines have bassinets that attach to the bulkheads: verify age and weight limits. My son didn’t fit, length-wise, but he was under the weight limit, so his legs hung over the edge of his cosy bed; I was hands free and he was blissfully asleep much of the trip. Pack a few cloth nappies, the square, unstuffed ones, to use as bassinet liners; cloth nappies are inexpensive and fold up to nothing, handy for a multitude of emergencies.
Tip #8: If it doesn’t fit into a single, under the seat travel bag, you probably won’t need it.
Parents over pack. At 3,000 feet straight up, where’s a drug store when you need one? What if baby spits up? What if we spill Junior’s Cheerios, wherever will we get more? And so, in that humongous carry on, you’ll pack four complete outfits, five containers of snacks, enough nappies for three days, fifteen toys, and a lovey, a backup lovey, and a truckload of pacifiers. Relax. I’ve got our gear down to my laptop, a single bag small enough to fit under the seat, and a sling to carry the Boo when he’s too tired. If you give your older child a backpack of his own, he might just carry it. But be prepared: he might not. Under seat bags should be no more than 21L x 16W x 8H (measurements in inches) in dimension. If you get one with rollers you can attach your computer case to the handle and you’ve still got a hand free for a stroller. Personally, I don’t travel with a stroller any more. It’s just one more piece of hardware to deal with, but I’m different that way.
Tip #9: Short layovers are a good thing. Long layovers are not.
We usually have a few hours on the ground at Charles de Gaulle or Heathrow to stretch our legs, get a coffee, play in the little children’s area. It was refreshing, got us out of close quarters, and was generally a Good Thing. Layovers are not necessarily the Enemy. Unless you are flying the super cheap flights on Aeroflot, in which case, you want to bring a sleeping bag and an inflatable mattress with you. We spent eight hours on the ground in Moscow. I had to tie my child to the restaurant chair, as he passed out from exhaustion soon after the borscht arrived. Really. I took my Maya Wrap, a wonderful baby sling, and secured him to the chair while I finished lunch. Then I spread the wrap on the floor in the terminal and he slept on the hard floor for two hours. Poor Boo. If you do have a long, direct flight, do get up and walk the aisles as often as you can do it without irritating the rest of the plane. You might find another exhausted, tired parent and his bouncing baby girl, and the two kids can entertain each other quietly for a while.
Tip #10: Time never really stops. It just feels that way sometimes. The plane ride will end. Take a deep breath and smile.
Remember, your child can get just as sick of being on the airplane as you are. Be gentle, kind, and understanding. Both of you. Don’t let the occasional glares of cranky passengers pressure you to come down like a ton of bricks on your tired kid. In small spaces, empathy works and hard discipline does not. You’ll just end up in meltdown mode. You don’t want the pilot to get on the intercom and threaten to turn the plane around unless you both behave, do you?
