How to Get More Clout at Associated Content

Bo Derek is still a gorgeous lady. For those of you brought into the world after 1979, she was the actress in TEN. In that year, the cultural expression, ‘Being a #10’, was born.

According to my dictionary (for the ESL/English as a Second Language learner), the word CLOUT is an informal American English word, meaning ‘influence’. (I teach ESL, and that was the most handy reference. You’re all online right now; go and look it up, yourself. Don’t be lazy. I remember having to walk, in the snow, to go to my elementary school. And, we didn’t even have lunchrooms, in those days. So, what happened? Well, at about 11:45, we all got on our snow boots, mittens, bulky jackets, and earmuffs, and headed out the door – towards home. Now, I’m writing to folks who get upset if I don’t provide for them every definition, on this supposedly melting earth, of the word, CLOUT.)

But, native speakers of English grow up in a culture that has many nuances for all of the words of the standard English dictionary. If you’re a native speaker (or a very courageous ESL learner), you know that the word CLOUT expresses, in our culture, many things: power, money, knowledge, savviness, a people-schmoozer, a-schmoozer-of-the-right-people, more money, and (woe to our knowledge of good, and evil) more power.

Not to get political (oh, what the heck), but, look at Richard Nixon. He had tons of CLOUT . What did that do for him?

But, I know that all of you, particularly those who write for this website, are shaking your heads right now. And, perhaps, you’re rolling your eyes. Because, in our society, CLOUT is extremely important. It tells other folks that you have arrived; you are important, and that everybody should know about it (if they have any CLOUT at all).

I was still, however, amused at reading comments, in the general discussion page, about all the kvetching over CLOUT numbers. I just couldn’t believe it. I mean, folks, if this is the worst problem in your lives right now, you’re very blessed, indeed. Or, most likely, you’re too young to have experienced much of what life really has to offer – of which CLOUT isn’t involved in, at all.

Yeah, I know. The CLOUT numbers signify that perhaps, if you work hard, and are very astute, you’ll be making some more money, or reaching out to the right people. After all, isn’t that what CLOUT is all about?

And, CLOUT can do some very nice things for us, can’t it? You bet. CLOUT buys us friends, family, nice cars, nice homes, the best schools, the right kind of bodies or clothes, yada…yada. (Well, let’s face it. You and I don’t think that these particular CLOUT numbers could really do all that, but….)

I hate to burst your bubble, folks, I really do. Because, all of this CLOUT stuff? Well, that’s exactly what it is – a big bubble. And, believe me, it can – and will – be burst at any time.

And, what are you going to do, when your CLOUT number is back at 0? Hm? What are you going to do, then? Because, life has a remarkable sense of humor. It tends to throw us curveballs, when we’re turned the other way, and not even looking. Why? Who knows? Some say it has to do with ‘being tested’. Others say it has to do with ‘building character’. The point is that you’re human, and humans get hit with curveballs – every second of every day. And, folks, life does not discriminate – at least, when it comes to its sense of humor. Regardless of your background, education, financial status, heritage, or beliefs, you’re going to get hit with a major league curveball, one of these days.

And, your CLOUT number could very well slide back to – 0.

I know. Just the thought of it causes a tiny prickle of coldness at the tips of your fingers. Or, it should.

So, how do you prepare for it? Well, if you’re young (and you have my blessings), you’re not going to give much thought to it. Neah. You won’t. LIfe is too full of promise, and thoughts of being immortal, right now. You’ll need a couple of years under your belt; don’t worry, you’ll get there. Preparation, for the rest of us, can never come too soon, right? But, how do we prepare?

One thing is not to place much importance on the word, CLOUT. As some of you already know, CLOUT comes….. and it goes. You’re riding very high, and smoothly, on the soft cloud of CLOUT – and the next minute, your butt’s getting smacked, rather solidly, on a bunch of needle-edged rocks and thorny shrubs. Ouch. You’re bleeding all over the place. And, everyone around you is just standing there, staring at you, in morbid curiosity.

So, another thing is to learn to depend on yourself. Don’t toss all of your eggs into somebody else’s CLOUT filled basket. At some point down the road, that basket is going to get overturned, and you’re going to end up with yolk all over your face. And, more folks will be standing around, staring at you in curious amazement.

I guess that the last, and most important thing, is to have a solid spiritual foundation. Why? Because, folks , you’re going to need it. And, whatever that may be to you, is no one’s business, but yours. Just make sure that you’ve got one, for when that curve ball hits, and suddenly, quite surreally, your world does a nauseating flip-flop. And, instead of the roller coaster stopping, it just keeps going and going. You’ll be grasping, quite frantically, for something, or somebody, to hold onto – and nothing will be there. There’ll just be air.

So, in the midst of complaining about our CLOUT numbers, what are some important things to remember? First, don’t place a whole lot of importance on CLOUT. Second, always depend on yourself. And, third, build a good spiritual foundation.

And, Bo Derek looks pretty damn good.