How to Get Over a Breakup in No Time
The grieving mate often holds out hope that the relationship will revive, maybe even somewhat stalking the former mate. All of that is just asking for more pain and anguish. Instead, make a formal decision to let the person go and you’ll not only find happiness elsewhere, you’ll feel better about yourself.
Until you make the formal decision, you’re on your own. No one can heal you, no one can help you, and you probably won’t talk your former partner into coming back to you. Once you face these facts, life will get easier. Facing hard facts isn’t easy, and some people never do, making their lives miserable ever after.
The world is full of bitter people that got left behind when a mate disappeared with another, or simply disappeared. These people sometimes have trouble staying in relationships because they constantly blame the new lover for the pain the old lover inflicted. Or, they don’t bother to try to get involved with a someone new, for thinking it’ll only happen again. Be bitter or live life – it’s your choice.
The hardest part of splitting up is knowing you’re left alone. The reason people find it so hard to let go is that they convince themselves that they can’t live without the other person. Not true. If you’ve lived through one night without your former mate, you can live through many more. Make attempts to convince yourself of this rather than telling yourself that you can’t go on.
If you’re ready to face the fact that your mate is gone, there are steps you can take to go on with your life and even to find happiness. The old saying is true: if you fall off a horse, get right back on it. That’s true with love as well as horses. The longer you wait, the harder it will become to get out and get around. Instead, many people fall into habits of sitting around alone or intruding on another couple every night. Don’t expect your next date to immediately become your permanent partner, but do get out there quickly and mingle. Even if your old mate is on your mind, talk, laugh and meet with new people.
Box up and cart away anything left behind by your mate. Don’t visit the same locales, don’t call his or her friends to check on how or what they are doing. Don’t torment yourself by smelling her old perfume or wearing his old slippers around the house.
Find one person or couple that knew your former mate and is willing to let you talk about him or her. It should be a person or couple that is sympathetic to what you are going through right now. Don’t make a habit of visiting or calling every day. You’ll only wear out your welcome. Instead, call every once in awhile, just to talk about what you’re going through and how you’re feeling. Talking helps us to calm our own selves and to say aloud what we’re thinking and feeling.
Make a list of things your former partner did that drove you crazy, made you mad, or just made you shake your head in disbelief. This can be a continuing list that you add to on occasion. When you find yourself day dreaming of the ‘good old days’, read the list. Any time you find yourself thinking back to good times with the person, immediately try to put it out of your mind by starting a new project, doing crafts, yard work – whatever types of hobbies you enjoy. Call a friend, go for a drive, do something to occupy your mind and time, for the moment.
Purchase a few new items or redecorate. Changing the way you look, or the look of your home can give you a whole new outlook on life. It helps you to except changes, big or small, and to look at changes with a positive view.
Go to a nearby town to have fun. Take along a friend or go with a group of friends. Nothing’s worse than feeling as though the whole world, or just your town, is watching you struggle through a failed romance. Go to a place that has lots of fun and lots of new people to meet. Don’t go with the idea that you want to find a mate, but go with the approach that you’re just trying to have some fun – nothing serious.
Have barbecues, go golfing with friends, see an old movie with a family member. Doing normal things, or planning special things, reminds us that the love of the former partner wasn’t our entire life. It’s good to remember that we still have family, friends, hobbies, interests, work, holidays, and other wonderful things – whether the former lover is there or not. Keeping this in mind will help you to move on with your life.
Deciding how difficult it will be to move on past the days with your former mate is really up to you. If you’ve been dumped – or you have a feeling it’s coming, decide if you want to live life or cry it away. Eventually most people choose the former, so why not choose it quickly? Get up, get out there, live and be happy!
