How to Raise a Goony Dog
Wouldn’t you love to own a dog that has so much energy they can run for hours and not get tired? Or a dog that makes leaping over a couch look easy? Can you just imagine the pride you would feel in being the owner of the only dog who never stops running at the dog park? I can tell you how to raise just such a dog, and I know it works because I have done it.
In order to raise a goony dog the first thing you need to do is to choose a breed of dog that is known for its energy. For this reason Labradors are a great. Since they are bred for hunting they have a ton of energy. Labs are very smart so they will take your encouragement to heart and try their best to accomplish impressive feats of endurance, speed and strength. In my case I got a Lab mix so she has all the mental traits of a Lab but is a little bit smaller and wiry which makes her an even better athlete.
Next it helps if your family is genuinely interested in athletics, specifically running and wrestling. This way your dog’s talents will genuinely impress you and it will not be difficult to praise them.
Now when you adopt your cute little puppy you need to encourage their athletic prowess right away. So if the little pup can’t sleep in the morning. You get up and take them for a run. You know they are young and can’t run far so you let them sprint as fast as their little puppy legs can go for anywhere between half a mile and a mile. To boost their confidence let them win. However, you do want to beat them sometimes so they know that improvement is possible. After your dog runs well, tell them what a great dog they are and that you are so proud of them. As they get older you let them run farther and farther. Soon you will not be able to beat them because two legs just aren’t much of a match against four.
It is important that you help your puppy develop their wrestling moves. On a Saturday morning, when the little pup starts gnawing on the blanket or batting your head with their paw do a real quick single leg and get the dog on its back. Then let them up and do a double leg, and then another single and get them into a big frenzy. This works especially well while your spouse is still in bed and trying to sleep. You can also play hide and seek. Hide under the covers and let the dog try to dig you out and then all of a sudden jump out of the covers and do another wrestling move on them. Remember to give them praise when they do a good wriggle and get out of your hold.
Your dog needs to be quick and agile to be a genuine goony dog, so instead of playing fetch you play keep-away. You throw the ball and let them grab it. Then it is the dog’s responsibility to tease you and let you almost get the ball back, but then take it and run. If you can get two people to chase your dog it works even better because then they have to learn better feints. Once again praise your dog whenever they do a good move and get away.
If you follow this advice, soon you will have a dog that can literally sprint for an hour on the beach chasing after birds. At the dog park you will be the envy of all the other owners when their dogs just can’t keep up with yours. However, I must warn you. There are some drawbacks to this training system. For instance you may frequently get comments from people telling you that the dog is walking you instead of the other way around. Or if your dog gets loose in the cul-de-sac and you want them to come, they may get confused and think your playing keep-away. But isn’t it worth it because your dog is so impressive?
