How to Tactfully Encourage Guests to Help with Housework

With all the cleaning and preparing for houseguests, it can mean big changes in the household. When many of us think about hosting those visitors and houseguests, we have a very clear understanding that the visitors are “guests”-meaning that they do not help out with chores and housework and we make sure that they have a relaxed and wonderful time. Entertaining houseguests for a period of time, however, especially when they are family or people we know really well can cloud the issue a bit. The holidays can be a particularly stressful and messy time. Do we allow them to help out with household chores? Do we encourage their involvement and ask for help? What can be expected from a visiting houseguest in terms of household help and still fall within the realm of reasonable manners?

In an ideal world, a houseguest will offer to help out, cook a meal or step in to take on tasks, and we can give them a few helpful chores to do. Tasks like helping to prepare dinner, folding laundry, or walking the dog can be helpful without being too taxing. Of course, most of us do not expect the guests to take over the brunt of the household chores, scrub the floors or clean out the garage, but it can be part of the natural fun of the visit and be a bonding experience to allow guests to get involved in the workings of the family. If a guest does not offer to help, however, we can either ask them, or make a suggestion for ways they can participate. It is not good manners, however, to insist or expect a guest to pitch in with the housework.

There are things that can be done prior to the guests’ arrival to make helping out easier. Before guests arrive, make sure that you have made it easy for them to clean up after themselves. By ensuring that the space they are staying in is already clean and that there are trash cans, hampers, etc. in plain sight can set an expectation about tidiness. When giving guests a tour of the home upon arrival, you can subtly give them permission to use the dishwasher or show them how to use the clothes washer and dryer “just in case” they should need to use it. The more comfortable you can make your guests feel with your home and the appliances, and the more accessible your home is, the easier it will be for them to clean up after themselves. Even with all of these effort and encouragement, it is unreasonable to assume and expect guests to jump in and do the housework. Be grateful and accept help when offered, but try to remember that you are the host and it is poor manners to expect.