How to Tell Your Children You Have Cancer

You sit in silent shock as the doctor tells you that the test is positive. The doctor informs you that you have cancer. He begins telling you about the process for dealing with the culprit. You must have surgery, then chemotherapy, then radiation and then we hope for the best. With your thoughts on your children, you can barely digest what he says. What will you tell your children?

Throughout my many visits to the chemotherapy lab with my mother, who was being treated for breast cancer, this was the story I had heard. Mothers who had no clue of what to say, or if they should say anything to their young children. They said it was worse to worry about that than the actual news from their doctors. But they all knew that the longer they waited the more difficult it would be. The following is some suggestions taken from these women.

First, be honest with them. You are scared, and it is alright to let them. Help them understand the reasons you are scared. Let them know what the process will be such as surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, etc.

Secondly, warn them of any possible changes in your lives. For example, you may lose your hair, you may feel very sick and tired, someone (grandma or aunt so and so) may come to the house to help out a little bit. Children will handle the change better, if they know before hand that it may happen.

Thirdly, tell them how they can help you. They may go to the store and help you pick out a hat for when you lose your hair. Maybe, they can help clean up a little more. They can remind you to drink water before you treatments. Remember they may be little, but they can help.

Fourth, let them ask questions. Try to answer as honestly as possible. Be prepared, they may have some tough ones, but they only ask out of love. If you are not sure of the answer, write it down and ask your doctor at the next visit.

Finally, leave the door open. Inform them that they can always discuss anything with you. They may get to upset to talk to you now, but later they may want to. Assure them that you will keep them aware of what is happening.

Cancer is difficult to deal with. So whether you have to break the news to little kids or older, these suggestions should help make the process easier.