How to Write Wedding Vows Part Two
The most important thing to keep in mind as you look over all you’ve brainstormed is that you want to express your love and commitment to your partner in the best way possible that is true to both of you. If there’s anything in your arsenal of ideas that doesn’t really fit both of you or doesn’t directly pertain to your relationship, those should be the firs things to go. Regardless of how touching or funny they are, if they don’t directly pertain to you and your spouse-to-be, they have no place being in your wedding vows.
Next, look at the particular brainstorming areas. If you have an area dedicated to poetry, lyrics or literature, this is where you want to do some major cutting. At most, you should include one item from this brainstormed list. You don’t want your vows to be made up of mostly someone else’s words. If you really want to use a poem or a song, make sure you are only quoting a part of it (or it’s really short), and make sure it really relates to what you are trying to get across. Also, make sure you’re going to include an explanation of why it pertains to your partner and your relationship. Remember, this is not a requirement and a piece of words from someone else should only be used to illustrate a point of your relationship in a really meaningful way. Once you’ve narrowed it down to one verse or section, make sure it’s time-friendly and you know why you’re using it.
The next brainstorm section to look at is laughter. Being purposefully funny is hard, though for some people it comes naturally. If all of the jokes or silly anecdotes that you brainstormed seemed forced or unimportant, get rid of them. However, if one or even a few work and can be told in a timely matter and most importantly make a comment about your relationship in a positive yet humorous light, keep those and get rid of anything else. One or a few funny moments in your vows can be memorable and touching, it will be about the timing in which they are delivered which we will discuss in part three.
Anecdotes are another brainstorm section that will require some major looking over.
Right off the bat you can get rid of any anecdote that seems too cheesy or doesn’t really express the feelings you’re trying to get across. No matter how smart, funny or memorable the anecdote, it needs to express the situation: communicating and vowing your love and commitment to your spouse-to-be. While anecdotes are a great way to make your vows special and personable, finding the right anecdotes can be tricky. After getting rid of those that don’t fit the occasion, you need to find one(s) that are time-friendly. The story and the reason why you’re telling it need to be communicated in a few minutes. If it takes to long to express, even the best anecdote will need to hit the cutting room floor. Work on picking the best anecdotes and tinker with them to see if you can get them down the appropriate time. Once you’ve worked with one or two and found one that will work, set it aside and move on to the most important part.
The feeling/emotion words you brainstormed are the real reason you are here writing vows: they are expressing how you feel about the person you are going to marry. These words should be used as often as possible in your vows. Whatever words expressed your feelings best, those are the words you want to use. Get rid of any words that you looked for in a thesaurus. Go with the words that came from your brain and your heart. Your vows should reflect you, after all, not your ability to look up words in the dictionary.
Once you’ve gone through your brainstorming ideas and edited them down to a manageable length, it’s time to start putting your vows together. As you do so, more cuts may need to be made. Remember, time is a factor and so is comprehension. Your future spouse needs to be interested and able to understand what you’re communicating.
Go through your ideas and try to organize them in a way that sounds best to you. If you have more than one joke or funny anecdote, try to break it up with more serious declarations of love. Work on timing and cutting anything else that seems superfluous. Work on injecting those feeling words and expressing your love and commitment in the best way possible.
In part three we’ll talk about putting it all together, polishing it up, and delivering your amazing vows to your eager future spouse.
