How to Write a Love Poem

I’ll be the first to admit that most of my poetry is dark and bordering on depressing. Silvia Plaith has nothing on some of the verse that flows from my pen, and it’s not something that I typically share – it’s pulled from the recesses of my emotions and works like a cleansing purge, getting rid of all the things I don’t want to be thinking about anymore. Despite that, I actually like the dark, macabre turns of phrase that I come up with.

Sit me down to write a love poem for my beloved, though, and I start to feel like I have the vocabulary of my 6 year old.

The other day, though, that same little girl wrote me a story – well, as much of one as a child learning to read can write. My point is that the story was beautiful, and touching, and it made me realize something: children speak right from the heart. They say exactly what they’re feeling, instead of worrying about how their words are placed and what kinds of “hidden meaning” might be weaved into the verse. With simple language, they can turn a loved one’s heart into butterflies and bring more than a couple of tears.

With this thought firmly in mind, I decided it was time to try my hand at the love poem again – this time, forgetting that I’m an adult with a strong vocabulary. I decided it was time to concentrate on the emotions, instead of the words.

Ditch the Internet

Yeah, I know, there’s lots of places online that let you print love poems, and there are even a few websites that will “generate” a love poem for you. So, instead of giving into temptation, print this article and turn your computer off. Seriously … have you done it yet? Good, let’s go!

Now that you’re away from the temptation of the digital screen (okay, so maybe you’re cheating and still sitting here looking at your computer, but I’m going to pretend that you’re not), you can concentrate more completely on emotion instead of words. There’s no spell-checker when you’re using a pencil and notebook. You can’t run to the online thesaurus, and you’re not going to be able to browse the classics for inspiration. You don’t need it, trust me.

First, find somewhere that you’ll be nice and comfortable … and, ideally, not distracted. You want to place yourself in a position that you can almost meditate. Have your pen and paper nearby for notes, but don’t worry about them just yet. Instead, close your eyes and take some deep breaths. While you’re breathing deeply and feeling yourself relax, picture your loved one in your mind. Construct a mental image of them, slowly moving your gaze down their body. There’s always something about a loved one that stands out strongly – maybe the way that their eyes have a hint of gray that is almost startling against the green depths, or the way that their head tilts to the side just a little when listening to you speak.

While you’re picturing all these things, move deeper … imagine their heart, beating strongly, and the way that it tends to race when you kiss them just so. Their breath, the memories that are locked deep inside their mind. Let everything just move through you, playing like a movie. You shouldn’t have to direct your thoughts once they start running.

Everything is important in a love poem, every single emotion – joy and laughter, passion, fear, sadness and loss. Reach for the sensations wrapped around your memories – scents and tastes, the feel of satin sliding under your fingertips or the soft whisper of wind through mountain trees.

You’ll know when you’re ready to take notes. Wait until you feel like you could burst with emotion, but don’t worry about what emotions those are. When you’re tingling with the love you feel, grab your pen and paper and jot down the strongest images, memories, and sensations that you felt.

Pen the Poem

In every poem, regardless of its type, it is the strongest emotions that make a stunning piece. You have already jotted down what the strongest emotions were – captured the sensations, both physical and emotional.

These are what will make your poem work. The problem that I (and, after speaking to friends I realize that others share) have when writing a love poem is that it’s too easy to try and focus on the emotional aspect. The “love is…” idea. That’s all fine and good but love and emotion in general is an abstract concept. The way it “feels” to each of us can change, it varies from person to person and sometimes on a daily basis. Describing how much your loved one means to you is difficult if you’re going to work with nothing but feelings. Instead, you’re going to weave the tapestry of your lives into the feelings, make them concrete.

And while you’re molding your emotions into something tangible, try and forget the “big” words. Think like a child; simple can be much more effective than fancy.

An example?

Abstract –

Your smile shines at me
And I forget
How to think or
What breath means

Concrete –

Your smile spills through aspen shadow
Bright as the sun bouncing off raven locks
And I am frozen in falling leaves
Breeze stealing all thought, the meaning of breath

Remember the old rule, Show Don’t Tell? It definitely works here – and that’s just what I came up with under pressure of writing this article, so I know you can do much better.

A final thought on the giving of a love poem: read the poem to your love instead of just handing it over and making them read it. Your voice makes the words come alive in a way that the words alone will struggle to do.