Humorous Take on How to Date on Myspace.com

Everybody’s doing itâÂ?¦ Oh yeah.

The one thing I noticed that people need to master on Myspace is dating. No one knows what the heck they’re doing. I have conjured up a list to help clueless single people understand what’s right and wrong. So grab a glass of wine or bottle of beer and get comfortable.

Read and learn, kids.

Myspace Dating Do’s:

âÂ?¢ Always be honest about your relationship status. If you are not truly a swinger, don’t say you are one. It just makes you look stupid.

� Place only your best pictures in your profile. Unfortunately, we do live in a world where looks matter more than anything else. Just make sure the pictures do at least resemble you.

� Try and engage your love interest with witty emails and instant messages. A perverted joke here and there is always a hit too.
âÂ?¢ Be honest about what you like and dislike. Just because the two of you may have little in common really doesn’t mean you won’t click. Be yourself but spice it up a bit.

� Date who you want to date, regardless of worrying if your friends are spy-spacing the computer nerd you are hot and bothered over.

� Stay positive even if it takes months to find someone as great as you think you are.

âÂ?¢ Remember that you typically get as good as yourself, so set your goals low, I mean correctly. Just because Billy Bob scored Jolie doesn’t mean you’re as lucky- or as rich. UnlessâÂ?¦ you really are.

� Search Myspace groups for cool people that have the same interests as you. Even if you are a total freak, it is highly likely that there are other freaks like you.

� Check out who your friends are friends with on Myspace and see if your mutual friends can set you up with someone hot.

� Do up your page. People with simple pages seem� well, simple. Give your Myspace some personality.

Myspace Dating Don’ts:

� Email or comment your love interest too often or you will look desperate.

âÂ?¢ Believe that what you see is what you will get. Even though there are many people on Myspace that resemble Jessica Alba, you need to remember it’s because of the angles, lighting, and Photoshop mastery. Be realistic. You know they could look like Monica Lewinsky in person. Of course, this isn’t a problem if you think Monica is hotâÂ?¦

âÂ?¢ Add married people if you’re going to flirt. They are all just attention whores and the drama will ruin your life.

� Have sex on the first date unless you are okay with being deleted from their friends list the next day.

� Give out too much personal information until you meet them a few times. There are a ton of psychos out there. Picture a crazy old bald man in a curly purple wig and red lingerie on his Mac laptop listening to the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack all while watching The View. He wants to talk to all the hot, sexy women, oh and you hot, sexy men too.

� Write emails on Myspace when you are intoxicated. You will always end up telling them secrets about your sex life.

âÂ?¢ Post comments about your love interest on your friends’ pages. You will always sound like you are bragging about an imaginary friend. Come on, no one thinks you are cool enough for a great relationship.

� Be online for more than two hours a day max� and not at one time. Divide it up between activities. Act busy!

� Lie to your love interest- everyone finds everything out on Myspace eventually�

âÂ?¢ Pretend to be promiscuous when you are not. You’ll just seem pathetic later.

� Whore yourself- on Myspace that is�

âÂ?¢ Ask people to leave you picture comments. People will only do it because they feel bad for you. Plus, your love interests will feel obligated and you’ll never know if they did it to please you, or if they meant it.

âÂ?¢ Photoshop every single picture on your profile. You want to be recognizable when you finally meet. Plus, you don’t want them to see you and run away before the start of the date.

âÂ?¢ Ask your cousin to leave you sexy comments posing as someone who is hot for you. Again, it’s a small world and someone will let the cheetah out of the sack.

� Forget that dating is fun� especially if you get laid.

Remember now, the above list was your list of DON’TS. Just because it may seem like a good idea at the time, doesn’t mean you won’t look like an idiot.

As long as you follow these simple yet crucial Myspace dating guidelines, you will find your soul mate in no time at all. Happy hunting Myspacers!