Hurting for Attention

Wasn’t college great? I loved it. The educational part of it wasn’t really that interesting, but the rest of college was a blast. In the 4 Ã?½ years I was in college I saw more than my fair share of hysterical incidents. I would like to write about one of them.

It was the beginning of my junior year, and my roommates and I were having a party to kick off the semester. We lived in a typical 4 bedroom student apartment complex. Even though we didn’t have the biggest apartment, it never stopped us from trying to cram as many people as possible in it for parties. We got a few kegs, and had a pretty decent turnout for this particular party. As you can imagine, a lot people were getting drunk. Alcohol had a huge influence on the outcome of this story.

This particular incident has two main characters- Juice and Brady. Juice was kind of a weird dude. I never actually knew his real name, everyone just called him Juice. We probably never would have really hung out with Juice, but he lived on our dorm floor freshman year. (Note: The people who live on your dorm floor freshman year will inevitably remain around you for the remainder of your college years). Juice usually dressed in all black, and he was one of those dudes who would just randomly show up at parties. Brady was actually cool. He was one of the funnier dudes I knew in college.

A bunch of us were dwelling around the dying keg when Juice managed to get one last beer. Brady made a remark, jokingly to Juice saying “Give me that beer, or I’m going to kick you in the nuts”. Juice remarked “You couldn’t drop me, even if kicked me in the nuts with a running start”. Juice was speaking loudly when he made that comment, and everyone around heard him. Random Chick #1 remarked “That sounds like a challenge to me”! Juice replied “For 20 bucks I’ll prove it”! Juice must have thought that he was going to impress this girl by taking a shot to the jimmy. I can’t think of any other reason why he would have done this. I was astounded. Brady wasn’t even serious when he made that comment, and now Juice was about to get chuck norrised in the balls for a mere 20 bucks!

It didn’t take long for Random Chick #1 to round up twenty bucks from the crowd. Everyone’s attention was now focused on Brady and Juice. This was really going down.
Brady looked at me and asked “Are you f***ing serious, he’s really doing this”? “I guess” was my simple reply. Everyone cleared the hallway so that Brady had a clear path for take off. Brady asked Juice “Are you sure you want to this dude?” Juice shook his head and said “Yeah man, f**k it”. Brady just shrugged his shoulders and replied “I’m gonna kick this dude in the nuts”.

Brady took off similar to an airplane on the runway. Juice braced himself for the excruciating pain that he was inevitably going to feel. Brady connected with a kick that would have impressed Pele’. Juice’s face immediately changed color to a shade of red that was bright enough to glow in the dark. He crunched over, and it looked like he was sure to fall. However, to everyone’s surprise HE STAYED UP! I don’t know how he did it. That was without a doubt the meanest shot to the jewels I’ve ever seen anyone take, but Juice was a tough dude.

Random Chick #1 gave Juice his 20 bucks. He definitely earned it. A few people gave Juice some beers from their personal 6 packs as well, which was a generous task considering that the keg was dead.

I never really saw that much of Juice after that night. He did randomly show up at a couple more parties we had, but for the most part he kept to himself. However his legacy will live on forever, and he is a main character in a story that I will never forget.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


one + 2 =