I was Supposed to Tar the Roof, Not Myself
Having just bought my first home at the age of 26, I was quite psyched about the endless possibilities for redecorating and structurally improving my investment. I had spent countless hours watching design and construction shows on HGTV, perusing popular do-it-yourself manuals, and strolling the aisles of the local Home Depot and Lowes stores. Now, I know I’m not handy or overly-skilled at crafts, but I truly believed that there were a few projects that I just could not mess up. When discussing my proposed project to friends, family, and the skilled employees of my neighborhood home improvement store agreed that this task at hand was incredibly easy and worth doing myself to save countless dollars. I decided to give it a go, never for one moment believing I couldn’t get the job done.
When I moved into the home, the previous owners had just completed putting on a new flat roof to cover the addition to the house. The surface of the roof was approximately 250 square feet. After the installation of the new roofing layer, I was advised to apply a tar sealant 90 days later. The sealant was to be applied by roller, using an extension pole. I asked a lot of questions before I began the task. I read the instructions on the sealant itself. I was quite proud of the fact that I was willing to try the task and was confident that I would be successful. I was also thrilled at the idea of paying only $25 for the sealant and $15 for the roller and extension pole. This forty dollar purchase paled in comparison to the $300 estimate provided to me by a professional roofing company to come back and do the job.
I picked one of the hottest days of the summer to seal the roof, a scorching and humid May afternoon in the Midwest. I climbed out the window of a second-story bedroom to access the roof, as I was leery of ladders. I opened the bucket of sealant and got to work. To my surprise, I was finished with the even, shiny coat of tar in less than twenty minutes. I climbed back inside, walked downstairs, and headed out to the garage to store the remaining sealant. As I opened the back door, I nearly fainted. In my manic application of the sealant, I had forgotten to consider that some of the tar could roll off the edges of my house. In addition to tarring the roof, I had now tarred two sides of my house, my beautiful rose bush, much of the patio, and a new window that was just installed.
I went into panic mode. I immediately turned on the garden hose at high pressure and tried to force the tar from the aluminum siding. Not only did the tar stick to the siding, but it smeared, increasing the size of the stain twofold. I tried scraping the tar away and rubbing it with an abrasive sponge. It just kept getting worse. In my frenzy, I had now also stepped in puddles of tar. My feet kept sticking to the grass and bed of mulch.
After two hours of working feverishly to no avail in 100-degree heat, I resigned myself to the fact that I couldn’t change what had happened. I sat down in the grass for a quick breather. When I tried to stand up, I realized that I had tarred myself to the grass. My rear end and feet were completely stuck. I yelled for my friend who lives with me to come help. In the process of trying to free me, she became tarred as well. Luckily, we had a cell phone outside. We tried to reach friends or family who could help us out. After what seemed like an eternity, one couple came to our rescue with Fast Orange, oftened used by mechanics. I scrubbed my hands, feet, arms, and legs for over an hour, trying to remove all traces of this sealant, which now had a terrible smell due to the heat.
In the end, this supposed “$40” do-it-yourself job turned into an expensive project. Supplies to salvage my roses and new window were roughly $30. Mass quantities of soap and Fast Orange totaled up to about $40. And, to top it off, I ended up having to shell out over $700 to remove the tar from the siding and get the aluminum repainted. Of course, the paint job on the addition does not match the rest of the home 100%, but at the time, it’s all that I could afford.
To this day, I still try home improvement projects. Sometimes I’m successful. Sometimes I’m not and end up spending money to have someone “fix it.” But, I’ve never had quite the experience that I did on this summer day.
