Internet Infatuation: How to Handle an Online Crush

So, I consider myself to be a reasonable person. I’m not generally given over to sudden outbursts of emotion, and I prefer to look at a situation rationally, instead of allowing myself to be overcome by things that would cloud my “vision”, so to speak. I’m also a self-proclaimed hermit. Social situations make me nervous, and I tend to be that person that commits just about every faux pas there is in such situations. Thank goodness for the Internet. In addition to my hermitic tendencies, I’m also a Myspace addict. At any given time you’ll find me surfing the forums, and communicating with people that have become more my friends than many “real” people. So what do you do when you’d like one of these people to be more than a friend?

The funny thing about communicating with someone online is the fact that you get to know their mind, who they really are. At least in theory. I think most of us have heard the horror stories about people online not being whom they made themselves out to be. But, that is not the subject of this article; the subject is what do you do when you find yourself hopelessly infatuated with someone that is really nothing more than a screen name? That is the situation in which I have found myself, and I’m sure that I’m not the only one. It’s gotten to the point where I really look forward to getting messages from him, no matter what the content. In some ways this e-infatuation is more genuine than some relationships that I’ve actually had. You’re not constrained so much by the social conventions that go along with being in an in person situation. However, there are also drawbacks, perhaps the greatest one being the lack of body language to guide you. You’re flying blind, and it’s really easy to be misunderstood, or to take something the wrong way.

Unfortunately, there really is nothing you can do, other than to stop communication entirely. The problem though is that this can create confusion in the object of your affection. They may not even realize how far gone you are. You could tell them, but this is essentially putting yourself out on the line, and they may stop all communication with you, which can be painful. For myself, I have decided to go with the flow. I’m going to ride the wave, no matter how confusing and frustrating it can be, because is that part of what life’s all about?

What makes so many of us wonderful people, become entangled in this web? I consider myself to be fairly intelligent, as I’m sure most people consider themselves to be, and I know how odd it seems for someone to become infatuated so much with someone over the Internet. I think, however, that I have figured out why so many people are drawn to these situations. In a word: rejection. In many ways it’s much easier to be rejected by a person you’ve never seen before. It allows you to keep some illusions, and to rationalize the situation as never before. Whereas in person the thoughts can run from “I’m too fat” to “He’s/she’s gay”, online it seems much more rational because you can think “He’s/she’s really too far away”, etc. It’s also easier to keep your pride when you are behind a screen and keyboard, instead of standing right in front of the person, listening to them tell you that it’s not you, it’s them. And while it still hurts, there is almost more hope because you know that there are millions of other people, just a click away. There are plenty of fish in the e-sea, so to speak.