Intimacy and the Mature Married Couple
Society, i.e. reality shows, television sitcoms and movies, give the impression that monogamy and long term marriages are out of date and or boring. And that only those of younger chronicle age, may enjoy intimacy, and a fulfilling sexual experience.
This was most recently voiced by Miley Cyrus, who told Matt Lauer that people over age 40 do not engage in sex. How I wonder, does the barely legal former Hanna Montana star, believe she is the authority on senior love and romance? Perhaps she should read her bible.
In Genesis chapter 26, Isaac marries his cousin Rebekkah when he is 40 years of age. Rebekkah’s age is not given, but it is believed she was probably somewhere between 14-19. Twenty years later, when Isaac is 60, Rebekkah gives birth to twins Jacob and Esau.
Both sons found wives, when they were 40 years of age, and their parents 100 and just under 80. Somewhere between these events, Esau sold his birthright to Jacob for a bowl of stew. Jacob dresses like his brother, steals Esau’s first born son blessing, and later fled the country.
I would estimate, that the young men would have been at least 20 years of age. This would have their father 80, and their mother between 54-59. It was at this time, a famine came upon the land, and Isaac went to live in Egypt. While there, king Abemelech, saw Isaac hugging and kissing Rebekkah.
Eighty year old Isaac was not some old geezer who was hot to trot for a sweet young thing. He had a healthy passion and desire was for his wife, who was still attractive at just under 60 years old. Rebekkah was so beautiful, that the bible says Isaac pretended she was his wife so the king would not lust after her kill Issac and take Rebekkah as his own.
Abraham’s son was so enamored of his spouse, that he could not keep his hands off of her, at an older age, even in public view. Love like this is not relegated to the pages of the bible. Studies confirm, that many older long married couples, continue to desire each other, and engage in intimacy, as well as sexual intercourse.
For several years, I rode to elementary school with an older cousin and her husband. They both were in their early 60’s. They often would kiss and call each other baby right in front of me. I remember at several couples in the neighborhood who had children, when the wives were in their late 40’s and the husbands in their 50s. I also had a relative, who was troubled to find herself expecting at age 42, because she and her husband already had 4 children, and she felt she was too old.
Lee and Marty Kauffman, (both 91), are the adorable couple in the Swiffer television commercials. In an interview on the Ellen show, they said they had been married 44 years. I took note that Lee put her hand lovingly on her husband’s leg while taking to Ellen. You could feel the intimate connection between these two, the same way it can be detected in the commercials. I love it when in several of the commercials, Marty refers to Lee as “babe.”
Pearl and Dave Becker, both in their 90’s have been married more than 70 years. The couple admit they are very much still in love with each other. The intimacy between them can be seen in the photograph, and felt in the words of the interview.
I felt bad for an aging ted Turner, who in a CNN interview said he was still very much in love with ex wife Jane Fonda. Although 75 year old Ted’s body is showing wear and tear for his many years, Ted’s heart and emotions are still intact.
Yes there are couples who lose that loving feeling. They grow apart, and or become bored with each other. Medical issues and or medication may also play a part in lack of desire for older couples. There are however many more spouses who are blessed, like Isaac and Rebekkah to continue to keep the love light burning.
My husband of 33 years and I often hold hands when we are out and about. Recently during a funeral he draped his arm around my shoulder and I scooted a little closer to him. During the after funeral meal, I noticed several other couples our age or older, also displaying public gestures of intimacy, such as holding hands, or a kiss on the cheek.
This may not be acceptable for Miley Cyrus, but the truth is for some couples sex is like fine wine, and becomes more pleasurable with age. A Facebook friend whom I will refer to as “Bill,” made the following comment upon hearing of Ms Cyrus immature remarks. “I’m 56, and laying more pipe now than when I was 25. ” This is a good thing, as a recent study indicates that older married couples who maintain the sexual aspect of their relationship, are shown to be happier than those who do not.
