Is Your Child Afraid of the Dark?

Before bedtime each my night my little girls has a ritual. She removes a pile of toys from her room that have ‘scary eyes’. She’s woken up screaming in terror before because she was sure Dora was watching her sleep. She has even put her Wiggles dolls on her step stool to keep her safe at night. As cute as the latter is, I am left wondering if there is anything I can do to help her not be afraid.

Why

Children have very vivid imaginations. When the lights go out things look different. As we grow we learn that the things are exactly the same in the dark as they are in the light but for little ones, this is a challenge. They spend a good deal of their day imagining up all sorts of fantastic things and this doesn’t stop simply because it’s bedtime. They also feel less secure because mom or dad is no longer nearby and can feel very alone in their darkened bedroom.

No matter what you do your child will be faced with stories of the boogieman or they may hear that something is lurking under their bed at night. I spent most of my childhood with my feet tucked up as far as I could get them because I was sure something was going to reach up and grab me. If they don’t see this on television they will hear the stories from their peers in preschool or elementary school.

Traumatic events in a child’s life can also trigger nighttime spookiness. If there is tension in your home due to divorce, death or even a strained financial situation your child could be feeling more vulnerable. This can manifest into an odd-shaped shadow becoming a monster.

What Can I Do?

The most obvious thing to do is to have a nighttime ritual with your child. Children feels secure in a daily ritual and this can help them relax once it is time to go to bed. Be wary of the stories you read to your child at bedtime. Make sure they are upbeat and non-threatening. A warm bath before bedtime is not only soothing but it may help them to drift off to sleep more quickly.

Talk about your child’s nighttime fears during the day. Ask them if there is something bothering them and what scares them at night. Remember that no matter how silly it may seem to be scared of Dora’s big eyes the fear is very real to your child. Do your best to explain that Dora is just a toy but that she can be removed from the room at night.

You can also do a ‘monster check’ before bedtime. Ask your child where they think the monsters may be lurking and inspect each place thoroughly. As you check the closet or under bed state firmly, “Nope, no monsters here”, and then tell your child the room is monster-free.

Other Options

I’ve had to come up with a great many things to try to combat my little girl’s fears. She has an immense capacity for imagination and it shows when its time for bed. She has not one but two nightlights. One is near her bed and the other is across the room. I also leave a small light on near the bathroom so she is not in total darkness when she gets up in the night.
I have a bracelet that I have given my little girl that she keeps on her nightstand. I told her it was a special bracelet that I love and I knew it would keep her safe at night. She also has my husbands old drivers license lying next to the bracelet. These both have helped her sleep through the night.

A friend of mine uses something called “monster spray”. This is nothing more than a spray bottle filled with water but it has worked wonders for her and her son. If he fears there is a monster he simple picks up the water bottle and sprays. The monster is gone and he can go back to sleep peacefully.

Children love flashlights and these can be great for helping your child conquer their fear of the dark. A small flashlight next to their bed is a great idea as long as they know how to turn it on and off. If something is scaring them they can simply turn it on to find out that all is well.

Extreme Cases

If your child is waking you up multiple times each night chances are you already know something needs to change. Not only are they missing out on a good nights sleep, so are you.

You may want to consider that something is going on with your child other than the usual. Take some time during the day to have a conversation with them about everything going on in their life. Ask questions about friends, relatives, school and anything else they do or see on a regular basis. They may tell you something you don’t know. If this doesn’t work you should share your concerns with your pediatrician to see if there is more to their fears then just the normal workings of a child’s imagination.