It’s a Parent’s Responsibility to Teach Their Child Empathy
Why empathy is important
Compassion, caring and concern for other people allow us to appreciate what we have and how we can help others. Without displaying empathetic emotions, people are seen as cold beings that just plain don’t care. Being empathetic can lead to people doing what they like regardless of how it affects others – and this can include petty and major crimes against others.
Children who show no signs of feeling empathy are easily spotted – once they reach school-age they are oftentimes found bullying or habitually teasing other children.
But those children who stand up for others who are being picked on or hurt are displaying empathy.
In order to learn about other people’s situations and draw from their experiences, one must have empathy. And while many scientists believe that we are born with some capacity for empathy, they also recognize one of the primary ways children are taught this emotion is through empathetic parents.
Raising empathetic children – what you can do
In order to raise empathetic children, you must be empathetic.
This means that you:
Validate other people’s feelings
Do not stand for hurtful behavior
Put yourself in the place of others
Treat others as you want to be treated
Understand how others feel the way they feel
Parents are also teaching empathy when they react to their children. In a child’s eyes, a parent is all powerful, and can cause them great distress or hurt if they:
Dole out severe punishments without considering the situation
Use a harsh tone of voice when disciplining children
Criticize a child in an nonconstructive manner
Intentionally humiliate children
So, through the actions you display when dealing with your child, you are actually teaching them empathy (or a lack thereof). Before you can successfully show a child empathy, you must evaluate your behavior and correct any areas where you see less empathetic behavior on your part.
Ways to teach your child empathy
Once you have evaluated your behavior and make the necessary changes for your on empathetic behavior, you are ready to actively teach your child empathy. Here are several ways to do this:
- Teach tolerance. When faced with blatant intolerance for differences between others – i.e. others who openly discuss their prejudices – stand up for what you believe in. You can do this by not allowing another person to talk that way around you (removing yourself from the situation), and then, explaining to your child why you did that. Let your child know that all people are unique, and those differences are what make our world a beautiful place. And then explain that in no way is it right to dislike someone based on their background, their race, their age or other issues that the person themselves cannot change. Further explain that there are people in this world who do things without thinking about how it affects other people – and that is not acceptable behavior.
- Show compassion.There are many situations where we hear about or see those who are less fortunate than us or who have faced dire situations in their lives. Most people immediately place themselves in that person’s shoes, and admittedly state they cannot comprehend how that person feels. And while we may not completely understand what that person is going through, we know that they are faced with issues that are very unfortunate. You can teach your child empathy by openly discussing these situations as they occur. Let them know how you feel about it, and what you wish you could do to make it better for the individual(s) affected. And, if you can do something to make it better for them, do it. This shows your child that not only are you empathetic, but your compassion drives you to help others in need.
- Teach cause and effect. One of the most important ways to teach empathy is to consistently show your child that for every cause there is an effect – meaning, if the teacher says that your son pushed down a child at school and received a mark for it, then it is the parent’s job to provide consequences for this action. Discipline is a great way to teach empathy because children realize that if they do something that was inconsiderate, it will not be tolerated. But, the only way this will work is if the parent doles out the effect (or consequence) on a consistent basis.
Other ways to teach empathy
There are a few activities you can share with your child that can truly help them become empathetic:
Volunteer at a local shelter or soup kitchen. After you are finished with your role for the day, take time out to sit and visit with those who use the program. Let them do most of the talking and actively listen to what they are saying. On the way home, discuss the situation with your child. Tell them how you feel about it, and reaffirm your blessings in your life.
When a family member or friend is faced with harsh times, sit down with your child and discuss the different ways that you can help them. Then, have the family do just that.
If you are faced with a situation where you must do something that may make another person upset, discuss it with your child. Ask them how they would handle it, and come up with a solution together.
If your child is gifted in certain studies, ask if they would be willing to tutor others who need help. This shows them not only are they helping someone, but just because a student has a weakness doesn’t mean there aren’t other aspects of their lives where they thrive.
Volunteer for at least four charitable organizations a year – this shows your child the importance of giving back to the community and helping those in need.
If faced with a crisis (i.e. – Hurricane Katrina), plan and implement ways your family can help. Have your child discuss the different options and decide together.
If you see your child standing up for someone else, reinforce the behavior. Tell them how proud you are of them and why. It not only teaches your child acceptable behavior, but it also shows them that it does feel good to help others.
