Johnny Weir: Why Uncompromised Gayness Swelled the Aorta of the American Heart
I can’t decide if this kind of thinking is a good thing or a bad thing. On one hand, homosexuals have become so desensitized in American Culture (almost all of it?) that they are now, at the very least, good for a laugh and not a horrendous beating. But on the other hand I kept thinking, why couldn’t all the mooks in this country jusy appreciate this guy for what hewas: a very talented athlete. I don’t ice skate, altough I’ve tried. My current status is somewhere between ice wobbling and ice falling. I mean, that shit looks hard. Johnny would probably get killed if he tried to play football and I doubt he could make contact with a major league fastball, but I’d like to see Mark McGwire or Michael Strahan attempt a triple axel. So what’s the problem?
The problem is he is gay to the point of oblivion. He could cure cancer or find peace in the Middle East, but nobody would care. Some people would grit their teeth and say, “wow, what an accomplishment”, but in their minds they’d be thinking this is the gayest dude I have ever seen. Now I want to say for the record that I don’t even know if he is gay. He might of the hottest girlfriend on the planet and never had a penis anywhere near his butt and that’s fine. But it won’t matter, America thinks he’s gay and they loved it. They ate it up with syrup like a diabetic at a sundae parlor in heaven. And I don’t even know why this is. I guess America’s gay too. We’re all gay and we just don’t know it yet and Johnny Weir is King.