Kansas City- a Royal Flush
At 34-63, the Kansas City Royals have seven fewer wins than even the perennially awful Tampa Bay Devil Rays. Only the Pittsburgh Pirates over in the National League have as close to as poor a record in all of Major League Baseball as the Kansas City Royals do, as they stand at 35-64. At home, amazingly enough, the Kansas City Royals are 21-24, only three games under .500. But it is away from Kauffman Stadium that the Kansas City Royals redefine “missing home cooking”, as they are starving to the tune of 13-39, playing at a .250 clip. They have been outscored 574 to 442, and they sport the worst team ERA in the sport at 5.65!
The Kansas City Royals’ problem is simple; a complete lack of major league talent, especially at the plate. To prove this point, the Kansas City Royals went into Fenway Park recently and took a 4-0 lead over the Red Sox into the seventh inning of the first of a three game set. They failed to score another run- for the entire series. They coughed up that lead and lost 5-4, then wasted a pair of rare great outing from their starters, losing the next two games by identical 1-0 scores. Boston had not won two back to back 1-0 contests at home since Babe Ruth was pitching for them during World War I!
If you are squeamish about bad hitting statistics turn away, because the Kansas City Royals have more than most fans can bear to digest at one time. Nobody on the Kansas City Royals has more than nine home runs: as a team the Kansas City Royals are last in that department in all of baseball with a meager total of 71, even behind the Punch and Judy hitting Dodgers. Only outfielder Emil Brown is approaching the modest sum of 50 runs batted in after 101 games, while six regulars have fifty or more strikeouts. The problem is that the Kansas City Royals are cheap. Not wanting to pay big bucks, they have filled the roster with recycled veterans such as Tony Graffanino, Matt Stairs, Mark Grudzielanik, and Doug Mientkiewicz. These guys are all decent role players being asked to carry a club, and they have failed to carry it, even to the cellar steps.
The pitching of the Kansas City Royals is about as good as their hitting.32 year old Mark Redman went 5-0 in June and was the Kansas City Royals’ lone All-Star representative, but even he has a just a 6-5 record and the Kansas City Royals are his sixth team in nine years. The rest of the staff is a mish-mash of washed-up hurlers playing out the string, or kids that don’t belong in the majors at all. The Kansas City Royals have tried a dozen different starting pitchers so far in 2006. The bullpen is a disaster, having blown an astounding 21 of 40 save opportunities. 22 year old Ambiorix Burgos has screwed up nine of those chances all by his lonesome, while Elmer Dessens has done his part, chipping in with five.
In the field, the Kansas City Royals are 22nd in baseball with 52 errors. They rank second in double plays turned, but that stat is misleading, as they have more opportunities to turn two because of their poor pitching. Likewise, their 39 stolen bases given up looks good on paper, until you realize that why would a team try to steal against the Kansas City Royals when they are going to clobber their pitching. Manager Buddy Bell, who obviously enjoys being hired to be fired, presides over this mess until the front office decides that a “shake-up” is in order. In the case of the Kansas City Royals, that “shake-up” better be an earthquake.
