Keep the Guests in Mind When Planning Your Wedding
It might seem selfish to be guiding you to plan the wedding based on your guest’s requests. However, if you wanted the wedding to be truly yours alone, you would elope and leave us poor souls out of it. So, if you or your parents want this to be show time, then plan accordingly. Keep in mind that your guests wish you well, but they are coming for the free meal. With that in mind, make the service short and sweet. Whatever religion you are, you might want to consider switching to one that does not require a full mass along with communion. Or, make the service optional and give the time on the invitation for the actual start of the reception – not the fake ” reception immediately following the service”. There’s picture taking and all sorts of rigamarole that factors into the word “immediately”. Let’s pin down a time folks.
Be considerate on timing your wedding. An evening wedding that does not begin until seven thirty means dinner is not being served until nine thirty at night. That is ridiculous. The poor waiters with hors d’oeuvres trays will be attacked by hordes of hungry wedding guests, especially if there appears to be only three trays circulating for two hundred people. What are you thinking? If you plan to serve dinner, have the wedding at four in the afternoon, appetizers at five, and then start the meal by six o’clock. If you are doing lunch, then have the wedding at eleven, appetizers by noon, and grub on the table by one in the afternoon.
Now, back to the actual wedding service itself. First, if you are having all of your friends in the wedding party in full gown and tux regalia, then the ushers should also wear tuxes and actually haul people to their seats. I witnessed a lot of milling about in the church lobby, and ushers in street clothes standing around. No one was asking if you wanted to sit on the bride side or the groom side. It was chaos. If you are having a traditional wedding, then stick with the traditions that people expect. Once people are seated and the service begins, try to avoid too many readings from your bridal party. Having someone clomp in heels from one end of the church to the other, to come up and stumble over some scripture is excruciatingly boring for your audience. You quickly lose your guests interest. We want to hear the “I do, I do” and “You may kiss the bride”.
If you have come this far in the wedding plan, then stick with tradition. You are now a Mr. And Mrs., and you and your family and bridal party should be in line to greet your wedding guests. I was amazed that this did not occur at this last wedding I attended. Grandparents were not introduced. Our family (this was a nephew getting married) did not meet the bride’s parents. It was very odd. The bride and groom went back into the church for pictures and the guests were left to stand around. There was no rice or birdseed thrown as the couple leaped into a limousine. There was no limousine. Again, if you are planning a formal wedding and blowing plenty of dollars, then rent a limousine, for goodness sakes.
Once again, it is time to discuss the reception. Hopefully, you have settled on a proper time and your guests are not fainting from hunger. If you have planned this much, then go ahead and make the effort to create a seating plan. You should have the bridal party at the head of the room at one table. Again, I witnessed no organization at this last wedding. If there is a buffet line, the wedding party should be first to go through it. Again, I was amazed to see the maid of honor at the back of the line.
I have no food ideas for you. Food is very subjective and can be very expensive. Use your own judgment based on the amount of people you are feeding. You cannot please everyone, so be sure to choose food you and your new spouse like to eat. In regards to beverages, have water glasses and pitchers on the table. Otherwise, having sodas, beer, and wine available is a nice touch, along with a cash bar option. The alcohol factor is expensive and again subject to one’s family situation and other social issues. That is your call entirely.
Speeches and toasts should follow the meal and be kept to a minimum. Then before any music begins, there should be the cake cutting. The wedding cake is part of the grand finale. Spare no expense, and frankly I love the tradition in the South to have a groom’s cake along with the regular wedding cake. Two cakes is a brilliant idea. When you plan your wedding, go to a lot of bakeries and act thorough in your cake selection. The final test of a successful wedding is the cake. This seems shallow, and yet I write the truth. A delicious cake can make up for the tedious service, the endless waiting, and any disorganization. Your guests, in a sugar stupor, will declare your wedding the loveliest they have ever attended. The wedding I have chronicled in this article as the recipe for disaster did not present cake by eleven thirty at night. Our group left grumbling and I have no idea when cake was served. It looked pretty enough, but we did not leave in a cake glow.
Reception music is your choice, again due to expense. A deejay, a band, or karaoke can fill the bill. You cannot please all of your guests on music, so pick what you like and be sure to have a dollar dance to help recoup expenses. Finally, a little wedding souvenir is a nice touch for your guests. A CD mix, candy, a small packet of coffee – I have seen a variety of guest gifts and it is a thoughtful way to thank your guests for sharing in your special day.
There are a lot of decisions to be made for a wedding, and I have seen success from weddings planned in a month, to disaster from one planned for a year (I’m still not over not getting cake before midnight!). In the glow of getting married, be sure to keep your guests in mind when planning YOUR special day.
