Kella on the Rocks: The Journey of an Ice Hockey Player

Sunday, July 20, 2003 marked the first day that I took to the ice with skates on my feet, pads on my body, a helmet on my bean and a stick in my hand. This is going to be important to remember in a few years when I am elected to the All-Star team for the Women’s Professional Hockey League.

After only being on skates a grand total of about 8 times, beginning in 3rd grade at Amber C.’s birthday party at a local ice arena and not having skated since breaking up 7 years previous with “the hockey boyfriend” (now the General Manager of said ice arena), I took to the ice like a duck to water… or, perhaps more appropriately, like a Jesus Christ Lizard to water, as I spent most of my time above the ice rather than submerged in it, like a duck might be in water. But I digress.

So there I was at Castle Ice Arena in the Renton Highlands just east of Seattle, Washington, all dressed up like a hockey player. From helmet to skates, breezers to shoulder pads, hockey socks to gloves, I was ready to go. While many of the other ladies at the Seattle Women’s Hockey Club’s “Give Hockey a Try” clinic were still trying to figure out exactly why hockey players wear garter belts, I was stepping onto the ice. A few of the more experienced players were out on the ice as I glided onto the freshly Zambonied surface. After several uneasy and very non-graceful strides, I finally remembered how to skate. As I practiced turning, even managing a crossover or two, I skated by a puck and picked it up on my stick like a pro. Realizing that I had never handled a puck on ice before, I began replaying some of the many, many nights I spent watching Don Cherry’s Hockey Night in Canada. The highlights of the best players in the world came rushing into my mind and I began to move the puck back and forth on my stick. I circled around the net once, puck on stick, and up to the top of the circle. As I crossed over to the top of the other circle, I unloaded a shot that went sailing into the untended goal. VICTORY WAS MINE!!! I could shoot!!

While heading back toward the net to pick up another puck, I received a pass from one of the coaches, who must have thought I knew what I was doing. As the hard pass came toward my stick, I received it gently, remembering from somewhere in my past someone saying, “Receive the puck like an egg… cushion it as it comes to the stick.” I didn’t recognize said voice, and wasn’t sure if it came from watching many a Seattle Junior Mighty Mite practice, or whether it came from some random hockey movie, such as “Mystery, Alaska” or “The Mighty Ducks.” At any rate, the voice was right, as the puck sat gently in the curve of my stick. I turned on goal, fired it off and *BAM* – another beautiful shot by the rookie lefty from Belltown.

It was at about this time that the whistle blew and the coaches asked all the ladies to line up at the far end of the rink. There were four coaches in all – two tall and two short. All but one were quite sexy (yes… the coaches were men). As they introduced themselves, I made notes in my head: Sexy, Sexy, Sexy, Other Guy. As they began their introductory speech, the tall sexy blonde coach (“TSBC”) said, “It’s obvious that some of you have skated before,” and pointed in my direction. (“Surely he’s not pointing at ME???”) He went on to say that by the end of the season, whether we were new to skating or not, we would all be skating much better. They announced that they would be breaking up into two groups… experienced skaters and not so experienced skaters. I felt as though I fell somewhere in between and I wasn’t quite sure which end to go to. Short sexy coach pointed at me and said, “Come on, you’re on this end,” as he skated toward the experienced skater side.

We lined up behind the net and began doing drills. We started with figure-8 crossovers around the circles. We did this twice then moved on to some sprinting combined with crossovers. I made it through all of these drills without looking too incredibly awful, and managing to stay on my feet and even get a little speed up. Then came the downfall of my ego. There I was, thinking I was an ice hockey protÃ?©gÃ?©e, when they told us it was time to do crossovers again… but backward this time. Uhhh… skate backwards?!?! What’ll they come up with next?! Asking us to stop without slamming into the boards?!?! Needless to say, after a few feeble attempts at skating backward, I headed across the ice to the beginners side, head hung in shame, where they were learning how to stop without slamming into the boards. I was followed by two other gals from the “experienced” side. We took our positions at the far end of the line, and TSBC was giving the three of us personal instruction. We all picked up the stopping thing better than most of the others, but we still had some work to do. After my first time across the ice, TSBC said that I was really close to getting it, and told me to think light on my feet. Sure enough, the next time across the ice, I had it… more or less. The next drill involved skating halfway across the ice and going the other half way on one foot. This wasn’t too tough, apart from trying to steer myself. The TSBC again commented on what a good job I was doing. Awww… thanks!

After this drill, we practiced stick skills. We started out with each of us having a puck and just taking it down and back across the ice. I was really focusing on keeping my head up, which is the ultimate goal. The next drill was passing. I paired up with a really nice gal who had been one of the other two who migrated from experienced to beginner with me. We were both pretty darn good with our sticks!

Once we wrapped up the passing drill, everyone on the ice, beginners and experienced alike, lined up behind one goal. We were going to play British Bulldog. For those of you who haven’t played this game, the premise is that one person is “it” and goes to the center of the ice. The entire group then skates across and the person in the middle has to tag as many people as possible. All of those people then become it, and on it goes. So guess what?!? TSBC picked ME to be it! It was very fun. At one point, short sexy coach tried to be a hotshot and skate through all of us before everyone else started. He got past a good few ladies, and was ducking down as he went past me. I reached out with my glove and *WHAM* – nailed him HARD and down he went, sliding across the ice. He came back by a little later and gave me a hard time about it, because apparently I hit him in the face. Oops! Well, you can’t expect to be pretty if you play hockey.

That was all it took. I was hooked. My love affair with hockey continues to this day, despite the fact that I missed the last 3 months of the season this year with a broken ankle I received while playing soccer. No more of that. From here on out, I’m sticking to the safe sport of ice hockey.