Ken Lay Confounds the Scientific World by Dying of a Heart Attack Despite Not Having a Heart

It was probably to be expected. Kenneth Lay, former head of Enron, died of a heart attack before he could be punished for destroying the lives of who knows how many people. After living the high life paid for by the wages and pension funds of his employees, Lay was ultimately brought to justice just this spring, convicted of multiple charges.

A stand-up guy right up to the end, Lay’s basic plan of defense in his trial was to shift the blame to a lesser executive, former Enron CFO Andrew Fastow. Apparently, political types in Texas aren’t the only ones insisting that the buck stop outside their office door.

The fact that Lay apparently went rather peacefully via a heart attack is small comfort to all those whose lives were turned upside down. Indeed, it may come as quite a shock to many of them to learn that Lay could have died of a heart attack. After all, you typically require a heart before it can be attacked.

Lay is now burning in hell where he ought to be, of course, and that punishment will have to suffice. Too bad he couldn’t have enjoyed a little punishment in a jail cell courtesy of a new girlfriend named Bubba.