Kids Chewing Mothballs to Get High

I like to come across interesting news stories that I can use as platforms for social and personal commentary about the state of America and/or any cool things that might have happened in my own life. When I came across a story about two Massachusetts youths who were chewing on mothballs to get high, this opportunity seemed to have arrived.

First off, this story backs up the old adage that pretty much everything is a drug. I could grow to a 102 and I’d still be hearing news about the kids getting high off household products. How long have mothballs been around? You’ve got to hand it to these kids. They might be fucking crazy but at least they’re creative.

The sicker of the two women in the Boston hospital had been chomping on half a mothball everyday for the past two months. Consistency, I like that. Her sister, who wasn’t nearly as fucked up, had only been inhaling an open bag full of mothballs. Pussy.

Though this story was procured from a recent study in the New England Journal, which claimed the use of mothballs is “most likely underreported”; I kind of get the feeling that this might have been an isolated incident. For starters, these girls come off as an incredibly stupid, maybe the dumbest cunts in the history of dumb cunts (whoops, the misogyny alarm just went off). One of them actually continued to “use” mothballs during her hospital stay because “she thought her symptoms were not related to her habit.” Her habit, I love it. Another reason I am suspicious of this whole story is that there isn’t one mention of what the “high” feels like it. If I were the journalist covering this story, that would have been my first question (my second would have been, “can I have one?” At which point I would have been promptly asked to leave and eventually fired).

In fact, this article was really fucking horrible and lacked any substance whatsoever. I was even surprised that they mentioned the name of the mothball chemical at work (paradichlorobenzene, if you were wondering). The nameless journalist who came up with this slop should be terminated, if not shot.

So I’m sorry, reading public. I wish I had more to work with.

But you take what they give you, so I’ll go on.

The only side effects listed were scaly skin, unsteadiness, and mental sluggishness, however, the girls spent six and three months in the hospital respectively. So I’m guessing the downside of mothball snuffing (or chewing) is pretty serious, and maybe even deadly. In other words, I’ll pass.

Normally, I like these stories because I’m always looking for a cheap, over the counter way to get high, if only once. As a kid, I experimented with many different methods of “legal” drug use. Whether it was the innocent sniffing of Wite-Out or the blatant delinquency of huffing gas and robo-tripping (the act of drinking a whole bottle of Robitussin), I was not immune to the teenage fascination with “getting high”.

So in that sense, it’s good to see the kids experiment with new things. Huh, Paradichlorobenzene, who knew?