Kindergarten Cliques: Kids, Their Friends, and Peer Pressure

Do you remember the cliques in school? There were the nerds, the jocks, the popular crowd, and even the rockers, which was basically a name for the kids who smoked and were rumored to drink at parties. I have tried remembering when these social groups started for me, or at least when they were noticeable.

Looking back, I remember the first year of junior high school (7th Grade) being the year of the peer-pressure, in or out, are you worth being our friend, and quit looking at my boyfriend era. I remember hating 7th grade and more so than anything I felt as though I had to fight my way through it by battling what I now know were jealous girls and “handsy” boys. I even remember my first real boyfriend was that yearâÂ?¦you know the one; he was the one who taught you to French-Kiss in the darkest hallway in school.

Why is it that I see my five-year old succumbing to the pressures of what, in our time, was pre-teen jealousy and hormones? At five-years old, she cares about what she wears. Does it match, only solids with prints, or my favorite, “I can’t wear that or my friends will laugh.” Laugh? Friends? Are these the same friends who still wet the bed and suck their thumbs? God forbid your shirts have Clifford on it rather than a Bratz doll! This whole thing is insane.

There is also the issue of boyfriends. As earlier stated, my first real boyfriend was 7th grade. I have found that my daughter has this boyfriend who is also five, and his name is Trenton. Let me repeat this for those of you who did not catch it. MY DAUGHTER HAS A BOYFRIEND AND HIS NAME IS TRENTON. No one missed the ages here did they? She left day care to start staying with my Mother until Kindergarten starts and she actually called her best friend and asked if Trenton missed her. I was shocked. I looked at my husband, who by the way was scorned by her for listening to her phone conversation, and I stated, “And so it begins.”

In her Pre-k class there were 36 kids, and watching them as you walk through the door is amazing. You have the few girls who sit in the corner and play duck, duck, goose. You have the boys racing and pretending to play footballâÂ?¦no girls allowed. Then you have the group that my daughter likes to hang around with, the one with boys and girl. The boys play some odd game of “Power rangers” and the girls watch them and cheer them on, as if to say, “I am here for you my five-year-old hero.” When you’re done, we’ll go to our centers (play areas) and play kitchen.” Kitchen is the five-year-old version of playing house. They seem to see Mom in there a lot so that is how they see things to be. I often give thanks for the innocence of that.

So just when you think your child will not face peer-pressure or cliques until pre-teens, you are sadly mistaken. Our kids these days are starting much sooner with worrying about what others think and perceive. We as parents need to come together and stop the madness�.but how?