Lady in the Water: Not Worthy of M. Night Shyamalan

M. Night Shyamalan’s Lady in the Water was a bitter disappointment. I had high hopes for the movie. I was actually excitied. After all, it was from one of the best storytellers of our time. Sadly, it was confusing, if not downright boring. I actually had trouble staying awake and interested. It was STUNNINGLY, frighteningly bad.

When I first saw M. Night Shyamalan’s The Sixth Sense I was enamored. I loved the plot, the twist…. Once I saw Signs, I was a full blown fan. I was even one of the few that liked The Village. Unfortunately, Lady in the Water didn’t keep up with that little “thrill” I have come to expect from him.

In Lady in the Water, Bryce Dallas Howard (daughter of Ron Howard) plays Story, a narf, a fictional water-being, who rescues Cleveland, the superintendent of an apartment complex, from the pool after a bump on his head. Cleveland, played by Paul Giamatti, thinks she is just a young woman, but after he finds out the truth, he soon discovers Story needs to be returned to her world, but needs very specific people to help her do it. Coincidentally, the specific people are the strange tenants of the apartment complex. There are also creatures trying to prevent her returning, and the tenants and Story have to outsmart them.

One of the tenants remembers the story of the Narfs from when she was a child. Since she doesn’t really speak English, her daughter interprets for Cleveland. Unfortunately, she only tells a bit at a time, so it drags out the film further than it needed to be. None of the other tenants are particularly memorable excpet maybe the one who only works out one side of his body and is lopsided. Some are suspicious, some are friendly, some are just weird.

Of course, one of the dumbest points in the movie is when Cleveland finds out Story IS a narf. No “this is crazy” or “I’m calling the looney bin” – nothing. He just accepts it. He accepts the story, the creatures, everything without even blinking. When the other tenants find out about her, they just accept it, too. It’s too weird. I’m not really even sure I understand WHY she was there to begins with. I suppose I could watch it again to try to get it, but then, I would actually have to sit through it again, and I would rather be doing pretty much anything else.

Supposedly, the tenants of the complex are supposed to find their purpose in life. Story has a “message” in HER story for mankind. I didn’t really get that out of it. Cleveland is a depressed, boring man, who has lost his family and quit his career to be a Super. We don’t know if he returned to his former life (nor do we care). I didn’t really see any message for anyone else, either. They are uninteresting characters, and as usual in his films, M. Night Shyamalan actually plays one of them, although this time his role is a bit bigger.

The story is not scary, as I expect from him, nor is it even interesting. I had to resist the urge to leave. It is somewhat a fairy-tale, but a little too dark for children. There are really no major twists or turns. Nothing surprising. The acting is actually pretty good, but that’s the only good thing I can say about it. No one I even KNOW liked it.

Lady in the Water was described by Mr. Shyamalan as a “bedtime” story. I guess that is about right. It WILL put you to sleep. I only hope his next venture is better! I am sure I will be one of the first to see it when it comes, praying it will be oh-so-much better.

In the end, I would say if you are just bound and determined to see it, wait for the DVD. It is certainly not worth theater prices.