Larry Brown Vs. Isiah Thomas: The Battle for New York

I’d like to talk about the New York Knickerbockers. Recently, it has been reported in the New York media that Isiah “Worst GM Ever” Thomas will, supposedly, be taking over for Hall of Fame coach Larry Brown. One of the NBA’s most storied franchises, in its biggest market, has become the laughing stock of the league.

In reality, this move makes perfect sense. It brings closure to the circus show that the Knicks have become. It is the final, worst move that could possibly be made by the Knicks brass and, more specifically, their incompetent owner Jim Dolan. New York’s payroll is the biggest by far in the NBA, 41% larger than any other, to be specific. They had the second worst record in the league at 23-59 (a gigantic thanks to the Portland Trailblazers, whose eight game slide to end the year put them at 21-61) and they don’t even get to use their lottery draft selection (that went to Chicago, as part of the horrific Eddie Curry deal).

The Knicks are like a crippled calf, left outside the NBA barn in the midst of a violent tornado of crappy players. So, I would like to be the first person, as a Knicks fan, to wish Larry Brown well if (and when) he leaves this colossal mess. This flaming pile of poop is left in the hands of the two people who deserve it the most: Dolan and Thomas. If you watch The Sopranos, the Dolan/Thomas relationship can only be likened to that of Vito and Jimmy (the biker, fireman, diner cook, handlebar mustache aficionado, New Hampshire resident, who the outed gangster has fallen for). That is to say, it’s rocky but mainly (read: manly) full of love. If I worked for Vegas, I would have the over/under for total Knicks wins next season at 19, and I’d put everything I had on the under.

And so the saga has rolled on. The Knicks (with Brown and Thomas in tow) have begun trying out college players in their pre-NBA draft workouts (they’ve got the 20th and 29th picks to go along with the useless mass that is Curry). Brown is getting paid a lot of money to be there and he’s not stupid. If the Knicks’ brass (ass is a better word probably) think they’re better off without him, Brown won’t do anything to jeopardize his contract.

The media has not been allowed to talk to either the coach or the GM, so it’s not clear what the status of Brown’s job is. If the NBA was smart they would step in and try to save this famous team from their worst enemy, themselves. It should be NBA commissioner David Stern’s responsibility to disallow these bungling suits to drive the once proud franchise, which has fans all over the globe, squarely into the ground.

In a perfect world, Brown would have turned it around in the 2005/2006 season and at least made the team respectable. Most people thought that was possible. No one knew the extent of the damage though. The Knicks are like guy who had a tiny cough and when he goes to the hospital he finds out that he’s only got a week to live. That week has come and gone for the Knicks. The Knicks are dead.

The only thing left for the NBA and the Knicks to do is simple. They have to reinstate Herb Williams as head coach and GM and go from there. Herb’s Shaman powers are the only way raise the franchise from the dead. From my lips to your ears, this is the only way.