Life in Connecticut Will Never Be the Same: The Joe Lieberman Story
The fact that Joey L. lost the Democratic Party’s bid for reelection in the not-so-great state of Connecticut isn’t that big a deal, is it? So what, businessman Ned Lamont beat him out, fair and square, what’s the all the fuss about? Well, if you’re a politician, or just into politics, or even someone who pretends to be into politics, you’ve probably felt the lifeless reverberations of this wretched news story.
Every Democrat and his mother has been using this development as a warning to all Republicans and Republican-leaning Democrats that the “New Way” is coming, beware! Ooh, it’s really scary stuff alright. Some shifty millionaire beats a horrible, lifetime politician for the right to run for Senator of one of our stupidest states* and this is a signal for the Revolution? Hardly, but just as ridiculous has been the Republican response. They contend that this development somehow signifies the death of the Democratic Party. They believe that the flip-flopping and infighting has finally exploded in the face of the left and now they’re all running around like headless chickens trying to piece together an agenda that no two people can agree upon.
Unfortunately, and I really hate to admit this, I think the Republican angle is more accurate. However, this has less to due with the fact that they’re actually right, and more to do with the fact that Joe Lieberman is a cold, relentless, shape-shifting warlock who wouldn’t quit if a kiddy porn dungeon were discovered in his basement.
Lieberfuck has decided to run for Senate as an Independent. This is the cardinal sin of a lifelong Party member; he is essentially throwing the group that has backed him his entire political life under the proverbial bus. Don’t be surprised if he wins either, and don’t be surprised if it’s Republicans who vote for him. The Republican candidate is a hack and the Lieberman people are betting on a few old school Democrats coming together with a few moderate Republicans to hand them the office, again. It is an unprecedented move and it inherently wrong; if Lieberfuck pulls it off he will go down in history as a modern Benedict Arnold- only less ballsy, more waiflike and totally full of shit.
Of course, if Lamont ends up winning, it won’t really matter either. The Democrats will boast of their resurgence, the Republicans will scream about the Democrat’s downfall and the real loser, the American people, me and you, will be left scratching our voiceless assholes while a few new characters get rich off our wayward, helpless plight.
*It should be noted that my disdain for Connecticut and its people has nothing to do with politics but was rather born out of a sense of New Jersian pride. As a New Jersey-ite, I feel that the Connecticut folks don’t really fit into the mindset of the so-called tri-state area (NY, NJ, CT). I feel that the term tri-state area should be revised to include Pennsylvania. Pennsylvanians, for the most part, are way chiller and less stuck up than assholes from Connecticut. If you are from Connecticut, please don’t take this too seriously. I don’t hate you personally and I am rarely, if ever, serious about anything.
