Make Wedding Planning a Couple’s Job
Actually, you might be surprised that many men are interested in helping out their brides-to-be, but have no idea how to help out. And let’s face it, girls, some of us turn into dictators when it comes to planning the fairytale! But whether your man wants to help or you want the wedding to be a couple’s effort, there are plenty of ways to include your future husband and cut your stress load.
The easiest thing to do is find things that will interest your guy. It’s been said a million times – the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. This can’t be more true than during wedding preparation. The cake and frosting, appetizers and dishes – food is a great place for your guy to be involved!
Consider asking him to set up your transportation arrangements, choosing the photographer and videographer (if you choose to have one), and getting big items like tents, chairs, and tables rented. While it might be tempting to let him choose the DJ or the band, you should decide on this together unless you have the same taste in music. You may also decide to set up and maintain your wedding website together, or you may find that your husband-to-be can do an incredible job at the task all on his own!
Have you already selected the catering for the reception? Let your future husband set up the rehearsal dinner! Wedding ceremonies are almost completely about the bride – let the rehearsal be about the groom! You may want to keep an eye on him for this – don’t let him get carried away, but cut him a little slack.
Regardless of how involved your man wants to be, there are a lot of things you need to keep in mind. If you want him involved (and admit it – you want him involved), you should ask him directly for assistance. Guys like to be needed and your plea for help, especially if you point out that you couldn’t possibly do it without him, will not only stroke his ego a little, but will pull him out of his comfort zone to come to your rescue. It might sound like a little bit of deception, but your guy loves the opportunity to play Prince Charming, doesn’t he?
Put all of your wedding planning in black and white. Get a calendar and mark it all down. This is not only for your man, but for you as well. Also, before you ask your man to help out on choosing items, styles, and vendors, narrow down the options. It’ll keep him from feeling overwhelmed and will cut down your stress level so that you won’t be frustrated with his attempts to help.
Consider giving him tasks like making reservations, taking care of payments, picking up items, even online shopping. This is especially great for fiancees that seem to have a hands-off approach and are a little reluctant to be involved in the big production. This still makes him feel needed without making the big decisions.
Unless your man is ready and willing to jump in on the wedding planning from the start, don’t bring him in too early. About six months before the ceremony itself, you can begin to bring him in, and you’ll find that you can count on him to jump into action completely about a month before the date itself. Don’t get mad at him if he puts off some of the minor things until then – you want to keep him involved – not send him packing!
Most importantly, make sure that you talk about something other than the wedding. Women who only discuss their upcoming wedding can drive anyone crazy. Spend time together. Watch a movie. Go out to dinner. Discuss things that are normal for the two of you to discuss. Keep in mind all of the things that had you wanting to get married to one another in the first place.
