Michael Jackson to Accept MTV Japan’s Legend Award

“I look forward to my visit to Japan because I have so many fond memories of my visits there. I thank MTV Japan for this honor…I look forward to seeing old friends, and saying hello to my huge fan base in Japan, who, like my other fans around the world, have for so many years consistently shown their love and support to me and my family.” -Michael Jackson

At first glance, there’s nothing much to this quote (in my head, I like to picture Michael Jackson saying in it is high pitched voice). But then I noticed something fairly innocuous, but a little bit telling. From now until the day he dies, Michael Jackson is going to have to reference his child molestation trial whenever he goes out in public. In other words, it’s the only thing that’s going to be on his or anybody else’s mind; so it’s going to come up (even if it doesn’t). Why else would the King of Pop feel the need to thank the people of Japan for “their love and support to me and my family?”

Michael Jackson was cleared of all charges, but all that means is he stayed out of jail. In the court of public opinion he’s been found guilty a hundred times over. And he knows this. He spent half of his fortune trying to stay out of prison, and it worked. The price, other than a few 100 million dollars, was his banishment from the United States.

Michael Jackson will say his departure to Bahrain was a self imposed exile, but that’s only true in semantics only. Jackson committed the ultimate sin (in theory); he raped the spirit of innocence, the same ideal that had fueled over four decades of hit making success. And he did this with Jesus Juice; his personal jihad on the souls of defenseless young boys.

So, what was his first stop once he landed in Japan? Michael Jackson went to an orphanage! The sick and twisted irony of this situation was either lost on the entire nation of Japan or the entire nation of Japan is comprised of fairly sick and twisted people. Doesn’t Michael Jackson have someone in his camp who can tell him what’s good and bad for his hardly salvageable career? Isn’t there a publicist, a friend or a family member around to point these things out? Janet Jackson? Tito, Jermaine? Fuck, LaToya? Anybody?

“Um, Michael, yeah, I’m not so sure you should stop by the orphanage on this trip.”

That’s all, was that so hard. It almost seems that everyone has abandoned Michael Jackson; could it be true that he spends his days alone, and oblivious, with little Blanket and the other two poor, poor children whom have to call Michael Jackson, their father. Has everyone left him? Somebody get Culkin on the phone.

As a country, we can only hope (and pray) for one thing; that Michael Jackson isn’t into Japanese orphans and, sadly, is own kin.

I’m going to go take a shower now.