Modern Marriages: Handfasting
In ancient days, a hand fasting was actually a trial-marriage ceremony. The couple, upon declaration that they intended to wed, would then have their hands bound loosely together in ceremony. These loose bindings signified that the marriage was good for one year and one day, at which point the couple would then have to declare whether they had chosen to make the marriage a permanent thing or if they wished to engage in a hand parting ceremony (the Celtic equivalent of divorce). Unlike Christian weddings, no promises or vows were spoken at this point. The ceremony simply acknowledged that their two lives were bound together as one and showed their intent to live as such.
During the year between hand fasting ceremonies, the couple would live together as man and wife. If, after this trial marriage, the couple chose to participate in a second hand fasting ceremony, their hands would be bound together once more. This time, however, the knots would be secured tightly and the marriage would be considered to be forever. Even when one of them passed on into the Summerland (the afterlife), the surviving spouse would not remarry and would simply wait for the day when they were reunited with their loved one.
Today’s hand fasting ceremonies can be either simple affairs or grand galas, depending on the preference of those participating, but are commonly held before friends and family. This differs from the original Celtic ceremonies, as hand fastings of old needed no witnesses nor did they require someone to perform them; they could be done by the couple alone, so long as the intent was clear. Also interesting to note is that the idea that a bride be dressed in white is a Christian practice; Celtic hand fastings did not require the bride or groom to wear any particular outfit (though they usually did dress up in their best party clothes) and it is not unheard of for a hand fasting bride to dress in a red gown.
In these modern days, hand fastings have become more popular amongst neo-pagans as well as with homosexual couples, wishing to participate in some form of wedding ceremony that might otherwise be denied to them. But are hand fastings considered a legal marriage or a civil union? Surprisingly, they are, provided that certain laws are followed, as specified by the state/province which the wedding is occurring in. The difficulty lies in finding someone who is willing to officiate.
In order for a hand fasting to be legal, the person officiating must hold a valid license, government-issued, which says they are legally able to perform marriages. A marriage license must also be purchased in advance of the hand fasting, just like any other marriage (the couple wishing to get married may have to follow certain gender, medical, and age-related laws in order to receive this license). Also, if one of the couple is previously divorced, proof of divorce must be shown, prior to getting a license. Finally, both members of the couple must acknowledge that they do realize that this is a legal and binding marriage, should they go through with it, and at least 2 witnesses must be present at the ceremony.
Many choose to hold their hand fasting ceremonies during the pagan holidays of Beltane (May 1st) or Lughnassadh (August 1st), though this is not always the case (many Wiccans choose to avoid Beltane as a hand fasting date, as this is the union of the Goddess and God in their belief system). Others may simply choose to hold their ceremony close to or during a full moon, and they quite often prefer to hold their ceremony outdoors, where they are more in touch with nature and the elements.
Hand fasting ceremonies differ from place to place and person to person. The one thing that remains constant is the ritual of ‘tying the knot,’ when the person presiding over the ceremony asks the couple to face one another and join their left and right hands together, letting their bodies form a circle 8 pattern. Then, placing a cord or ribbon over the couple’s hands, the presider will then proceed to loosely tie the strip of cording around both their hands, binding them together in a gesture that is symbolic with commitment. Quite often, at this point, the couple will express their love for one each other and their hopes for the future. They will then begin their new future together – the first step of this journey begun with a kiss, their first gift to one another as a hand fasted couple.
