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I’m 18 and a virgin. I have a boyfriend who I love and want to lose my virginity to. I’m really nervous though! All my friends said their first time hurt. How can my first time be fun and pain free? Help me please! I feel like if my first time is terrible, I’ll never want to have sex again.
Scared Virgin
Dear SV,
It is true that most young women’s first times are on the painful side. In fact, my first time was so painful that I cried and bled and didn’t get to finish. I’m sorry, I’m scaring you! The key is to be prepared, which I was not. I was the first of my friends to say bye bye to the old hymen, so I didn’t have anyone to talk to about it. BUT, you are taking a great first step. I have heard of a few girls whose deflowering was not painful at all, and very enjoyable. They were no strangers to penetration though. Do you masturbate SV? Because if you do, that will help you immensely. If you don’t, then PLEASE start for godsakes! Every woman must know how to please herself before she can expect someone else to. But that’s a separate issue. Make sure that when you and your man start getting down to business, that there is A LOT of foreplay. To get scientific, when a woman is aroused the vagina naturally lubricates itself in preparation for a penis. The vagina also increases in size for the same purpose. So, if you are not properly turned on, then your body will not be ready and it will be like pushing a watermelon through your nostril (ok, not really. But it will hurt). Also, make sure you call the shots. If it hurts too much, then stop. ABSOLUTELY do not keep going just to “get it done and over with.” It’s not worth the pain. If he’s going too fast or too hard, tell him to slow down. Also, keep in mind that it won’t hurt so bad the next time. The part that actually hurts, which most girls don’t know is when the hymen is broken. Once it’s broken, it shouldn’t hurt anymore. As for the bleeding, you are almost destined to bleed: a membrane of tissue is getting torn. A little blood is normal. And SV, don’t worry about never wanting to have sex again. YOU WILL WANT TO HAVE SEX AGAIN! It’s that fun, I promise. Just be safe. And educate yourself! That’s the most important thing. Visit a Planned Parenthood, or their website: www.plannedparenthood.org. Have fun!
Dear Lisa,
Are black guys’ penises really bigger? And if they are, why?
Curious About Cock
Dear CAC,
No.
Let me elaborate. The ones I’ve seen have not been. In fact, the top five biggest ones ever that I’v’e seen have belonged to tall, skinny white guys. But, I couldn’t very well just leave you wilh my personal account of the black male appendage. Upon an internet search on this topic, I discovered what I pretty much already knew: there is no hard (pun intended) evidence to prove that black men have bigger penises that white guys. According to blurofinsanity.com, the average white penis is 6.2 inches long and the average black penis is 6.3 inches long. Yeah, that’s pretty much the same size. The longest recorded human penis is 13.5 inches long. Unfortunately, it doesn’t say what race that extremely well endowed man is. (Personally, that is too freaking big!) I’m not sure how that rumor got started, but what I’ve learned is that it is just that: a rumor. Sorry guys! Just like the saying, “You can’t judge a book by it’s cover,” “You can’t judge a cock by it’s color.”
If you have a question for Lisa, please email her at: LisasLoveAdvice@hotmail.com.
