Mother Bonding With a Newborn Child
As a woman drifts from one stage of pregnancy to the next information is thrown out about how important it is to bond with your baby even in the womb. The movies, commercials, cards and even most of the baby stories portray images of mothers holding their newborn babies and showing that precious bond that has become so commercial.
“I was just not prepared for the fact that when Charlie was born, that I wouldn’t necessarily have that euphoric moment, where I was instantly in love and knew this baby that was mine,” said Emily, a mother to a 10 month old boy.
According to Emily she had expected to feel what she considered to be that euphoruic moment because of all the images we are shown today. In Emily’s case this is not what happened.
“My first thought was, “thank god it’s over”, and, “where did this baby come from?” and “who is this?”. It took a couple of weeks before I felt a connection,” explained Emily.
A poll was taken on the BabyCenter August 2005 babies bulletin board asking the question “Did bonding the first few weeks your dear child was home come natural to you?” The results were as follows: out of a total of 53 votes 68% of the women voted yes and 32% of the women voted no.
Even though the numbers of this poll show that the majority of the 53 women felt that natural bond after childbirth most of the comments that were posted were from women who were coming forward to explain their experiences not feeling that bond.
One mother left a post wondering if a woman’s birth experience would affect the bond between her and the baby. In Sharon’s case she nearly died during childbirth.
“Having that baby nearly killed me and I was told over and over that 50 years ago it would have,” said Sharon, mother to Clara.
Through all of her experience Sharon felt like she had was failing her daughter. “Thank God time moves on and we’re where we are today.”
Bonding with a newborn does not have to be magical or mystical, bonding can be holding, hugging, snuggling, playing, laughing and just being together. Other ways to bond could be playing with toys, reading a storybook together and even breastfeeding your newborn is a good form of bonding for a mother and a baby.
One mother’s advice to women was “You need to be comfortable with yourself! Once you get yourself in check, you are more capable of understanding and taking the time to develop a relationship with this new being.”
Recently I had a twenty year-old new mother tell me that she felt her newborn baby daughter hated her. It had to be tough for this young mother to carry this little girl for nine months and give birth to this little miracle and than feel the child hates her when all the child wants is to be loved by anyone specifically her mother.
When things are rough, just remember that you will always love your baby, you just may not always like them at the moment.
