My 40th Birthday Party is Approaching

Forty. Me?

It doesn’t seem possible.

I don’t feel 40. Well, physically I feel about 60, emotionally about 12, and financially, nowhere near I should be at this age.

I have always wanted to do something big for my 40th – jump out of a plane, go to a foreign country since I’ve never even been to Mexico, do something daring.

I hope I will. I hope I’ll be able to afford something spectacular especially since my 30th on Easter Sunday was marked by my husband and I separating and my 35th was ho-hum.

Mike Bellah, who plans birthday parties for people, recommends making milestone events fantastic.

“Having fun may be the overriding passion of midlife,” he said. “Mid-lifers worry about significance.”

My best friend’s daughter, Katie, 22, says 40 is no longer considered mid-life.

I was always the first to go for the black balloons and gag gifts when my friends or relatives were turning this age but now, I’m not in such a big rush.

When it’s you and you are looking for cards for others then your time comes and you see the big 40 peeking out from envelopes amidst an array of greetings cards you cringe.

One guy who turned 40 last year writes, “Woke up this morning and looked for the instruction manual (on my 40th). Damn, I thought ‘They’ would have left it.”

“Most family-oriented people assume they will find a partner and have a family before 40,” said Ellie, who did readings at a 40th birthday party in 2003. “By age 40 most people have had at least one serious relationship – usually a marriage or living together – whether it has failed, grown apart, or the need for marriage is no longer part of the equation.”

John Kazalia, who writes for an about.com website, is turning 40 soon.

“I’m 40 and still listening to rock,” he said. “Was that supposed to happen? When I was young I thought I would wimp out to some easy listening station by the time I was 40.”

Not me. I have always and will always listen to rock. I mean, I was going to concerts when I was seven with my sisters.

Here’s some things I’ve learned so far:

1. If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you always got.

2. The serenity prayer has never worked for me but other prayers have.

3. There is a difference between spirituality and religion.

4. I’m a dog and a cat person.

5. I’ve dated a lot of losers out of loneliness.

6. I have to write and can do nothing else this well.

7. Some things are unforgivable.

8. I can no longer handle alcohol.

9. I don’t have to apologize for being sensitive.

10. Knowledge will avail you nothing if you don’t change.