My BDSM Story: Dominance and Submission in My Relationship
I accepted his collar and his ring almost six years ago. I took my time learning about this man. I saw him in ‘normal’ daily activities, such as work, family relations, and doing the laundry. I noted how calm and self-controlled he was, how staunchly responsible, and how openly well mannered. He encouraged me to think about what I wanted of my future, to set my own boundaries regarding BDSM play and D/s, in general. To be honest (a firm rule in Master’s house), I certainly never even considered becoming his submissive, the thought was ridiculous and I was raised during the Women’s Liberation Movement! Heck, I had burned more than my share of bras! How could I possibly even consider turning over MY power to a MAN?
Well, ‘it’ happened, gradually, born of trust and desire to let go of the fears and angst I harbored inside. I read every book and article I could get my hands on. I looked for related chat rooms on the internet. Then I ran! This was way too weird for me! I told my ‘boyfriend’, “No way in Hell am I going to do THAT!” and he laughed at me! Imagine that! He then sat down with me on his lap, comforting me with his gentle words of tenderness. For the next hours, we explored what a D/s relationship could be, for US, what our life COULD be, for US! He explained that while he was appreciative that I had researched this scary thing called the lifestyle, he wanted me to understand that much of what I had read and seen online, was fiction, only fiction. Furthermore, he continued, our future was ours to design. OURS.
Over the next months, he never pushed or made demands about my decision. And, it was always my decision. He wanted a woman who had made her choice based on her own thoughts and decisions, not because he ordered her to submit. I’ve heard from many Dominants since then, that only a submissive who freely chooses to submit, can be a life partner.
One morning, six months into our relationship, we woke and were getting ready for our day. As Master got out of the shower, I grabbed a freshly warmed towel and the collar he had purchased a few months before from the drawer where he had placed it for ‘when you decide’. I stepped proudly into the bathroom, knelt before him, lowered my head, and lifted my hands to him, offering the collar. He smiled and took my hands, lifting me to face him. He kissed me and then told me that I was his forever. I wear his collar each and every day as a reminder that our life together is what we make it, that I belong to him in every way, and that I CHOSE him.
We continue to grow as individuals and as partners, learning new and wonderful things about each other and our world every day, adapting and changing, adding interests where we find them, and dropping the things that don’t bring us both joy. Not too bad, for a woman who was NEVER going to give a man power!
