My Birth Daughter’s Fifth Birthday Letter
August 2005
Dear McKenna,
Wow, you’re going to be 5 years old! Everyone says it’s hard to believe and it is.
A lady I knew who met me when I was pregnant said it doesn’t seem possible.
Your life is so wondrous, so full and happy, everything I always wanted it to be.
They always told me it would get easier as time went on but I didn’t believe them. Now I do.
That is not to say though that I don’t miss you like crazy. I think about you all the time.
Whenever I see a little girl your age or see something in the store that you like I think of you, too.
You’re a great dancer, a smart little girl, and everyone who sees your pictures all around my house
says how pretty you are.
When I look at you it’s like looking back at me.
My daughter, the dancer! Who would ever have thought?
I took ballet when I was 10 but I wasn’t any good -not like you.
You sparkle and shine and capture everyone’s hearts,even when you’re not performing.
I’m so glad your adoptive dad was there for you for your recital, giving you a dozen roses, making you
feel on top of the world.
I always want you to feel on top of the world although as a parent we want that for our kids anyway.
When I turned 5 my dad made a home movie of my party showing my mom bringing me my cake lit up with candles that shone in the darkness. We used to turn out the lights when we would bring lit up birthday cakes to family members on their birthday. And everyone would
sing Happy Birthday. My eyes were huge as I saw the candles on the cake coming toward me.
The lights came on, I leaned over to blow out the candles, and my friend Dana thought she’d “help” me blow them out. As I blew them out I stuck my hand up to keep her from helping!
That’s all on film.
You’ve got spunk, smarts, and you are so talented. You have a kindness and you are one of a kind.
I hope you have a great birthday and many more to come.
I hope you get lots of cool gifts and that you have a happy day.
I will be releasing the five balloons at the park as part of my birthday tradition honoring you. Every year (you’ll know this one day) I release balloons, the number released depends on how old you are and I pick a different color every year. The first year the balloon got stuck in a tree. The rest of the years have come off without a hitch so far.
It is a quiet, peaceful time when I reflect at the place where I put you into your new mom’s arms. I am always humbled, peaceful, and happy that you are in a good place.
No one really understands why I do it alone. It’s something very private, special to me.
I love you very much and I hope the sun smiles down on you on your special day.
Love,
Terri
