My Boyfriend Ruben’s Eulogy

We met in July 2003 but didn’t start dating till December of that year. I had taken him to get my car worked on. He was recommended by a friend.

The first day I met him we hit it off. We were cracking jokes while he worked on my car. It felt like I’d known him for years. There hasn’t ever been anyone like that for me. We started exchanging emails, email jokes and this went on for months as just friends.

Then on Dec. 28, 2003 all that changed.

Humor was a huge part of our relationship.

I remember his 50th birthday was a great memory for both of us. And on Valentine’s Day 2004 it snowed and stuck as he left my house in the morning for his.

He immediately took to my dog and loved him. He taught him tricks, bathed him weekly, and would give him treats. They bonded as if Ruben was his dad.

Ruben remembered dates like you wouldn’t believe and could spin a tale with so much detail. He was so considerate, sensitive, funny, generous, protective of me, fun, and would help anyone. He helped a lot of people through the years.

He had been with his company 19 years, the latter years as a supervisor having been promoted twice. When he got sick some of his co-workers took up a collection for him.

He made his employees’ shifts easier with his joking attitude, always cracking jokes yet he was a great supervisor. He was a teacher and taught people many things. He rarely missed a day of work and even when he got sick and I would beg him not to go to work because he was in pain he would try to work anyway. He was always bringing me things from the company that he’d find, little treasures that people would throw out that he knew I would like.

We made a lot of plans. Going to Hawaii, getting married, maybe having a child. He always wanted to have kids of his own. We had a lot of plans. He always wanted a Harley and after he was diagnosed he was going to get one but never did. He loved to cook, loved animals, and kids.

There was so much to him and I know I’ll forget to tell you many things.

He would call me “Silly Bunny,” “Babycakes,” and “Mamasita.” I would call him “My Gingerbread Man.” He was a romantic, always surprising me with something. He was a good listener.

One of the last things he told me before he died was that I had his heart. He wrote me tons of love notes and love letters.

When his ex-stepdaughter had her first child in October it was his pride and joy. He told me often that when he held the baby his pain went away.

Shortly before he died he told me that he had found his purpose in life – To spread the word about God who he had found to kids, teenagers, his best friend and that maybe I could help him do that. He told me that when he recovered from cancer that he would be a different person and he always said, “I’m going to beat this thing.”

He always gave me compliments. He taught me a lot of things.

He used to ask me, “Will you still love me when I’m old and gray?”

He enjoyed going to Possum Kingdom Lake and Benbrook Lake to fish, swim, and boat.

His favorite songs were the Hawaiian version of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” and “What A Wonderful World” from the “Good Morning Vietnam” movie soundtrack. When he got sick I used to visit him at work as usual, only this time we would put some of his favorite songs in his CD player in his car and hold hands while talking about the future as the music played.

After he was diagnosed he had a spiritual experience and spiritual awakenings along and along and he would share them with me. It was incredible to witness.

I feel so lucky to have known him.

So many didn’t know how great he was.