My Fight with Panic Disorder
I did not realize it at the time, but my panic attacks started when I was around 8 years old. Whenever I heard a tea kettle whislte, my heart raced and I would panic. I never thought much of that until I turned 18. Not long after my 18th birthday, I was walking home from school when I noticed that I could hear my heartbeat. Shouldn’t have been a big dea, but Ibegan to panic. Next thing I know, I am running to a gas station to call my mom to tell her I was having a heart attack. My heart was racing, I felt dizzy, I couldn’t breathe, and I felt as if something terrible had happened. But the time I got my mom on the phone, I started to feel better and realized that I wasn’t having a heart attack. The symptoms seemed to go away as fast as they appeared. I just chalked it up as something crazy, too much sun, or snickers bars.
About a week later, walking home again, I began to think about the first incident, and suddenly it started to happen again. This time seemed to be worse. I couldn’t catch my breathe. My chest felt tight, I thought for sure I would die. Once again, I ran home and felt better once I was home. This continued, sometimes daily until I was afraid to leave my home. I dropped out of college because I was scared to drive alone. I became very depresed as I more and more was a prisoner in my own home.
The biggest mistake I made, was not going to a doctor right away. I was too scared to, I thought they would tell me I was dying or going crazy. I soon became paranoid of everyone, and I felt as if I could trust no one. It took 3 years before I went to a doctor and was prescribed medication. I was given 1 miligram of Klonipin daily. An hour after I took my first dose, I felt better. First the first time in years, I wanted to go shopping. Because I waited so long to get professional help, it took me much longer to overcome the effects of panic disoder. If you start to have panic attacks, you need to immediately go to your doctor, and also seek counseling.
