My Life as a Wargamer’s Wife

To be honest, before I met my husband, I had no idea a hobby existed such as historical wargaming. I mean, I had been in and out of comic shops my entire life and had seen different miniatures on the wall. Not interested, I assumed that it was all “Dungeons & Dragons stuff”. (My husband hates when I say that! ) I had certainly never ventured into the back of a comic book store to witness any kind of games being played. It was brave enough to be in there at all. A lone girl in a comic shop would be like you going into a seedy convenient store in the middle of the night. Make no eye contact, get what you need, and get the hell out before you’re surrounded.

“You mean like RISK?” I asked him, as he tried to explain it on our first date. “Mmm, kind of,” he said, “but no. It’s much more complicated. You see, we have very detailed miniatureâÂ?¦”
“Oh! Like Dungeons and Dragons!”
(groan) “No.”

I was later led to his workbench where he showed me dozens of tiny trees, tiny cars, tiny cottages, and tiny people. It looked like he was building one of those Christmas villages you see in a window at Hallmark. You know, except for all the Nazi regalia. His models impressed me, as I’d never had the patience for anything that time consuming. I also found his knowledge of history to be ten times my own. All in all, it seemed to be a harmless little hobby of his. So he still plays with his G.I. Joes, I thought. That’s cute.

Almost two years later, “cute” would not be the word I’d use to describe it. Obsessive, maybe. (There are random sheets of paper all over the house with lists of weapons, vehicles, soldiersâÂ?¦mostly in German). I can definitely describe it as expensive. (Thirty bucks for a tiny little windmill?!) And at times, just plain weird. (“Honey, I can see the brushstrokes on your fingernail polish from across the room. You want me to show you how to do it?”) It’s not all bad, though. For instance, I now know the difference between a Panzerfaust 30, 60, 100, 150, and 200. You know, in case it ever comes up at cocktail parties.