My Scintillating Guide to Safe and Super Sex

DISCLAIMER: This article may contain sexually explicit material and may not be suitable for anyone under the age of 18 (or anyone at all for that matter). The following is a guide describing ways for consenting adults to improve their sex lives. Reader discretion is advised.

This is baby making weather. Forget spring, this is the time for some hot, turn the AC off, old-fashioned screwing. Welcome, to the first installment of My Scintillating Guide to Safe and Super Sex. In this episode I’d like to talk about sweaty sex.

Sweaty sex can make you feel immensely close to your partner. There’s nothing better than just making some gorgeously sweet love in the middle of the day when it’s 92 degrees and rising. Let it be known, however, that this might not be cool with some men or women, so make sure you run it my your love-buddy beforehand.

You’re going to want to turn that AC off a good 3 hours before you commence the sex session. When you start to sweat from just sitting around, then you’re ready to have some real funky, sweaty sex. I know this sounds like I’m trying to be funny, but I’m not. Sex can get boring fast and it’s perfectly normal to try new things when it does. This might not seem like that big if of a deal- sweaty sex- but it is.

In fact, make sure you’re hydrated before you get it on, and it’s not a bad idea to have a towel on hand in case things get like crazy wet. Guys, you should really try and pace yourself during this one because the longer you go the sweatier and hotter you’re both going to be. This might be uncomfortable at first, but once you’ve both worked up a good lather you’ll forget about the heat and escape into euphoria. The sweat also acts as a natural lubricant.

Oral sex is not recommended in this type of session unless you’re a fan of really salty food. If oral sex is a normal part of your routine, try to get it out of the way at the very beginning. Your main concern during this experience is to go as long and hard as possible. If you want to go to the nearest window in the middle of it and do it doggy style, that wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Even though it may seem like the neighbors can see, they can’t. As long as it’s daylight and you’re a few feet away from the window, you’re invisible. This is science.

Remember, safe sex can be super so long as it’s scintillating. See you next time!