One Guy’s View on Dating
First if you are reading this thinking this guy doesn’t know anything, stop reading. I am trying to help men who might not be to keen about dating or just haven’t been successful in finding a good woman. This is not a dating almanac; I am just giving my point of view of ways I treated women that made them enjoy my company.
Let’s start by your appearance, now although a t-shirt and sweats may be the most comfortable outfit ever, it doesn’t attract a lot of women. Try a nice pair of jeans and a polo shirt for a change, or some nice slacks and a button down shirt. Women like a man who can dress himself. Now I am not saying Armani all the way but you are potentially trying to sell yourself to a woman. So do you think the woman is going to take the nicely displayed article (well dressed kept man) or the display that was thrown together in the dark (sweat pants and stained t-shirt)? Most women are not as shallow as men but appearance can make a lot of difference.
Confidence is the next step in the equation. Women love a confident man; don’t mix this with being cocky. There is a fine line between a confident man and a cocky jerk. When I think of the level of confidence I exude, I think that I want to present myself as in control of myself and my surroundings, but also respectful to those that are around me.
The trick to gaining confidence is first to know that you are not the only person in the world who might lack it. Many people are shy or timid and it can take a lot of time to gain confidence. I don’t know any tricks to this other than just don’t be afraid of anything, I like to live by the rule of 30, and that is in 30 years I won’t even remember the time I went up and asked a woman out and she turned me down. What will any of this really matter when you are 80 years old and can’t remember anything anyway because of the Alzheimer’s. Just kidding about the Alzheimer’s but seriously how much can it hurt and for how long if you get turned down? What might hurt worse is that the woman you never said hello to, might have been perfect for you.
So Confidence paired with a little touch up in your wardrobe is a good start, but we have a huge step to take, and that is talking. Talking can be hard for many people, not everyone is naturally charismatic or witty. Thankfully that was one thing I was a natural at, the confidence was my hardest area to work on. Fortunately I can help you with the talking; it’s easy to keep a conversation going. There are always three fall backs to go to if there is silence, and those are sports, movies, and family. Sports are good to talk about, but make sure its not all you talk about many women will grow bored with sports quickly. However since most states have a baseball, football, or basketball team you can quickly bring the team up and while you are talking about the big game, think of your next topic. Movies are another great topic because most people watch movies, and with movies you can talk about recent or classics it doesn’t matter. This also could open the door for an invite to another date, if they say they really want to see a movie you could say hey maybe we can go sometime next week. Family is a good topic because most people have family and you can often share funny stories about your wacky families. Just be careful with this one some people have dysfunctional families.
So you now you’re dressing right, you are gaining a little confidence and you have her talking and chatting away. But we never talked about what are good places to take a date. First dates should never be movies, you can’t talk until the end and then you depending on the drive home you don’t really have much time to talk. What time you do have will be wasted talking about how funny Will Farrell was or what ever actor was in the movie. First dates should be heart felt and slightly romantic to show her you are interested in her and to show you are a good guy.
My favorite first date ideas include star gazing, which takes a little time to find a place and also the weather can affect the outcome, but if setup right gives you time to really talk. Another good first date idea is dinner out at a decent restaurant; this can be a great way to talk and get to know your new lady. This does have a cost involved and sometimes food gets in the way of talking, but often times you can order a few drinks and release a little of your tension. Don’t get sloppy drunk you probably wont leave a good impression on your lady. On your first date if you want to make this woman feel very special and feel like she has found the perfect guy, bring her a single rose, I swear women melt for a single rose on the first date.
Good second dates are movies, dinner, coffee houses, and concerts. I don’t know why but women love to be taken to concerts, this can be pricy but the results are always the same, and that is women love concerts. I am not sure if it’s the music or what but they love this, especially if there are slow songs and you ask them to dance with you. When you do take a woman to a concert make sure you did your research and its something she will enjoy otherwise you are in for a very long night. Coffee houses are good too, normally pretty quite so you can talk at your own leisure, not like at some restaurants having dinner where you might feel rushed.
Places not to take a date would be the club, a wedding, or family event. First the wedding and family is ok if you have been seeing the woman for a few weeks and are ready for that but not for the first month, at least that would be my rule. This is because this might make her think you are trying to get to serious to soon, and possibly scare her away. Now I don’t take s to the club for two obvious reasons, one if she wants to go to the club she generally isn’t the type of who settles down and two guys will be all over her at the club.
Note about jealousy, women don’t like extremely possessive guys, they like a man who lets everyone know she is taken but not the guy who accuses her of cheating anytime she is out in public. Women this, have enough confidence to know she is with you and you can trust her have faith in your woman. If she cheats on you then she isn’t the type of woman you want anyway and you are better off. Women respond very well to this type of confidence.
Other tips to keeping a woman enthralled with you, surprise her randomly. Don’t just get stuck in the basic anniversary mode with a card and flowers. Make your woman know you like her, think up some creative ideas; they don’t even have to be expensive. Women love anything that is creative, sensitive, and heartfelt.
I guarantee if you think up a creative idea for a gift that is cheap but extremely well thought out and makes her smile she will love it more than some expensive gift. Surprises also don’t have to be on special occasions, the best gifts to make a woman know how you truly feel, are the ones on days that she isn’t expecting anything. The extra thought makes her feel like you truly do care and that you treat her like she should be treated; special. Women love to be treated special they don’t want to be like every other woman on the planet who gets flowers and a card every time its their anniversary, they want romance and thoughtful ideas.
An example of on thing I did for my Fianc�©e to make her feel that I love her and she is special to me everyday. One day I made a PowerPoint presentation for her, I know I am a computer dork, but here is the special part. She is Mexican and speaks Spanish and I am American and speak English I found a picture of a rose and made a slide with the rose and I Love You in every language of the world and I played a song we both love in the background while she watched it. I also had out story of how we met on the slides for her to read. Totally free for me to make, this little idea made her cry tears of happiness and I still get compliments from her friends and family about the slide show she makes them all watch.
These are just my views on how I think women like to be treated. This isn’t a testament to getting guys women. This is more a how to treat your woman right and love her the way every woman deserves to be loved. I hope that you find this to be helpful and I hope that any woman who is treated right will realize she has a great guy and wont mistreat him.
