One Parent Should Be At Home While Their Child is a Teenager
Parents do not want the guilt of dumping children into daycare. They do not want the child to be a latchkey kid. However, in daycare, the kids get supervision, a snack, a chance to play with other kids, and some exercise. As a latchkey kid, a youngster (pre-teen) tends to follow instructions and stay home. The child watches television or plays video games, does his homework, and generally reads any notes left for him. Check-in phone calls reassure the parent that all is well, and with the microwave, kids can have a snack without burning down the house. Thus, working while a child is still in grade school is a scheduling juggle act, but does not lead to the downfall of civilization.
Now we discuss the precious problem teenager years. I contend that it is far better for a parent to leave the work world and stay home to guard the fortress. Folks, with young kids, who read this, will shake their heads and say, “Oh, these people just had no control. This won’t happen with my kids.” And I answer, “Yeah, right. Your kids will be the worst.”
I, fortunately, had a flexible schedule and tried to arrive home at different times in the afternoon. The boys knew I could be home anytime after four, so chores needed to be done and everything better be under control. As I would pull up on the early side of four fifteen and start to pull into the garage, I would see hordes of kids piling out the front door. Now, each boy could have one friend over, not fifteen. Sure enough, happy hour was being hosted at our house. Rum and cokes were being served and the bar was a sticky mess. This would not happen if an adult were home to supervise. Youths gather at the homes where there are no adults around.
The junior high age is a tough one. The kids are too old to be riding bikes and playing, too young to get employment. Peer pressure is enormous. The kids tend to widen their circle of acquaintances and lessen the parent’s chances of knowing these added friends and their parents. Thus, they are under new influences. While you have taught the child to think for himself, to recognize right and wrong, and to be good, the chance to be cool in school is an overriding factor in decision-making. I am writing stereotypically about boys. Teen girls seemed to make wiser choices per my observations. I am biased in this article to guide parents with boys on signs of trouble and how to prevent it.
When the kids were little, you dropped them at daycare knowing the daycare will drive them to school and pick them up from school. Attendance was not a problem. However, with teens, the school hours often start long after the parent needs to be at work. How do you know if your teen is attending school? You make friends with the attendance worker. I think I was on speed dial and we exchanged yearly Christmas cards. Another clue is keeping your trash baskets empty. Trash baskets tell stories. They are like archaeological digs.
The trash basket next to the chair in the family room gave up the empty chip bag, the lunchmeat wrapper, and soda cans. A daily round of emptying trash baskets allowed you to nip a weeklong school skip in the bud. I would call my attendance lady friend and let her know it was an unexcused absence. The teen got detention to make up the time, and tended to avoid skipping for a while. It is amazing how the teen never seemed to catch on as to how I knew his transgressions. Maybe the dirty plate in the sink was not too obvious a clue?
You try to run a sane household and you do not want your kids being bad. To truly influence your child into growing up into a contributing member of society, I recommend having a parent home during the teen years. If it is at all possible financially, it is better to forego “things”, than your child’s wellbeing. Having a parent home to monitor friends, attendance in school, and after school events will lessen the chances of having a problem teenager.
