One Weird Christmas: Ditching Holiday Traditions That Bog Us Down
Along with the wholesome family traditions of the season comes the negative traditions we’ve come to know and expect…worry, busyness, stress and anxiety. Some of these traditions we’ve inherited from the examples of our parents. Some we’ve conjured up anew and all on our own. Wouldn’t attempting to shed some of these negative holiday traditions this year be the best gift to give both to yourself and those around you?
Why do we do this to ourselves year after year?
I think we do it because it’s all we know to do, and it’s what everyone else does so it has therefore become our normal.But when we know better, we can do better.
Let’s explore what an absolutely opposite holiday season could possibly look like:
“I’m not worried about money.” Planning ahead for Christmas gifts can be the best way to lessen the stress during the holidays. If you really want to get crazy…start stocking away $10 per paycheck in January. You’d have a nice chunk to spend come Christmas that year.
“I like being with my in-laws.” We all know that holiday time can mean “psycho- dysfunction family time” for some of us. If your family brings on the drama during the holidays, make a commitment to be present, but not to engage in arguments, guilt-trips and whatever else your unhealthy clan has to throw your way. By walking away from heated conversations, or using the phrase, “We’ll just have to agree to disagree.” you can quickly disarm any toxic situation. Diplomacy almost always works best.
If family behavior tends to be on the abusive side (whether verbal or physical) set clear boundaries with your family beforehand. Let them know that if they begin to exhibit these behaviors during your stay, you will have to leave. Then, if it occurs, get up your gumption and leave. Sometimes the best way to honor our family is not to enable them as they behave badly.
“I expect to gain five pounds…yippeee!” Let’s face it. We eat way more than we had planned to during the holidays. Monitor what you are eating on the other days…but let yourself enjoy the holiday mealtime by indulging. If you gain a few pounds over the season…just work a little harder to take it off in January.
“I don’t care if my husband buys me a blender.” Our expectations can easily be dashed at Christmas when our loved ones give us gifts that we believe are not thoughtfully chosen. Keep in mind that not everyone has a great sense of “gifting” (this rule applies to many, many, many of our husbands). When your initial reaction is disappointment as you open the shiny red chainsaw your husband purchased for you, keep in mind the fact that your spouse went through the trouble of thinking, shopping and wrapping…all just for you! Now that is something to be thankful for!
When we feel disappointed in the gifts we receive…it means that we have previously set “gift expectations” and those expectations were unmet. Is it really fair for us to set expectations of what we think others should give us?
“I don’t intend to take my Christmas tree down till Valentine’s Day.” This year we can decide not to allow ourselves to feel guilt because our lights are still on the front porch in March. It only means you are basking in the many gifts you received for Christmas and are much too distracted to take your holiday decorations down! Just think…you actually have the ability to extend the holidays! What power you have!
“I’ll let the relatives clean my toilet.” Do you find yourself so wrapped up in the cleanliness of your home that you find it difficult to enjoy your company? Take inventory. Is it more important for your guests to get warm smiles and hugs at the door of a lived-in looking home or to be met with a cold, distracted greeting in an immaculate one?
“Where no oxen are, the manger is clean…” ~Proverbs 14:4
If there is no life in your home…it will remain spotless. But if you are a loving family who actually spend your time there…it will look as though you do. Don’t allow perfectionism and the covers of home magazines to deceive you into thinking that your home is not up to par for company. A home filled with love is one worth visiting.
“Who cares if I forgot to take out the giblets from the inside of the turkey?!”Don’t let the fact that you are not the “World’s Greatest Cook” deter you from hosting a holiday dinner in your home. Such joy is found in hospitality…whether the Jello mold has liquified or not.
If your skills or desires do not lie in the culinary arts…don’t be afraid to ask for help. Invite a family member who is gifted in this area to assist you while you prepare dinner. Having guests bring side-dishes can also alleviate some of the burden. These days, there is the option of buying “ready-made” holiday meals from the grocery store. Just make it your goal to fellowship with your guests, not to be the next Julia Childs.
No matter what our Christmas issues are, let’s decide this year not to make it “Christmas as usual!” Cheers to an enjoyable holiday season!
