Online Dating: Only for the Desperate?
An Internet search for online dating turned up a plethora of dating sites, as well as articles announcing the end of the negative stigma associated with meeting someone online. The stigma may be dissipating, but it is not gone.
Many are still uncomfortable with the idea of telling others that they have met someone in cyberspace, even if they are willing to venture out in hopes of landing their significant other. Part of the stigma is the notion that people who find their dates online lack the necessary skills to meet others in the traditional manner, whatever that may be. As well, meeting others online is viewed as an act of desperation.
There may be some truth to the idea that online romancers lack some social skills, and that some are desperate, but it’s a stereotype. Desperation and a lack of social skills is simply part of a segment of the population. Consider that there are desperate folks everywhere. Arby’s? Of course. Bed Bath and Beyond? You know it. Vatican? Yup.
Shy people abound, and even the coolest of the cool may not be comfortable risking rejection on a cold public meeting. Besides, people are busy. The Internet offers a lot to someone looking.
The Internet is a means of communication that allows people to connect, and connecting for romance is fairly common human behavior. Someone at some point in history sent a love poem over a telegraph, and set up a dinner date using carrier pigeons. People call in song dedications on the radio, and go on television blind dates.
There are advantages and disadvantages for romancing over the net. Advantages include the ability to learn a great deal about many other available people in your area. You can view pictures, learn about likes and dislikes, vocation, education and a myriad of other details. Not everyone is honest, though. Some will display older photographs, not reveal that they are married, and lie about other important topics. Just as in other venues for meeting, one must be careful.
Pay attention to the questions you are asked. For example, if someone asks if you rent or own your home, or demands to know your address before meeting you, they may be interested in your finances or perhaps have an alternate agenda. If they focus on sex, well, that may be their only interest. If they avoid certain questions, like where they received their college degree, they may not have one.
Some things you can do to protect yourself take little time and investment. Sites like publicdata.com allow one to search criminal background, and may also reveal a spouse at the same residence.
Use common sense when dating. Match.com has some excellent advice on how to do this. See their 10 safety tips for your next date at http://www.match.com.
If you make a great connection and are concerned about what others may think of you and your new partner, maybe saying “We met online” will be awkward for you. This is an awkward thing to say, just as “We met in TV land” or “We met over the phone” might be. Does it really make sense? Your introduction may happen online, but you still meet in person. Try saying “We met at Starbucks after chatting online.” There, doesn’t that seem reasonable?
