Osama Bin Laden is Obsessed with Whitney Houston or Why I Can Finally Die in Peace 2
Jeffrey Dahmer – Fine Young Cannibals
Yeah, this was one was way too easy, but it’s still funny right? Fine Young Cannibals were an 80’s new wave rip-off act; most famous for their falsetto loving staple “She Drives Me Crazy”. Can’t you just picture a young Dahmer in his prime, hacking up some sorry victim’s body, watching some gay porn, when all of a sudden “She Drives Me Crazy” comes on the radio. He stops the hacking, turns down the volume on the gay porn and starts a dance routine; complete with “spirit fingers” on the “Oh, Oh!” parts.
I clearly have issues.
Charles Manson – Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young
Most people think that the Manson was obsessed with The Beatles, and he was. But if one were to speculate on his second favorite musical act, it would have to be CSNY. Why CSNY? Because CSNY wrote a lot of songs about murder, fire and death. For instance, take either “Woodstock” or “Ohio”. On the surface they seem like happy little ditties about a town and a state, but that’s not the case. “Ohio” is about the deaths of four students at Kent St. University and “Woodstock” is about the great fire of 1999. “Helter Skelter” my ass, CSNY were truly responsible for Sharon Tate’s murder.
Timothy McVeigh – NWA
It is a falsehood that Tim McVeigh, the Oklahoma City bomber, was a racist, pro-militia maniac. He was a pro-militia maniac alright, but he was no KKK member. He loved gangsta rap and specifically NWA. Where do you think he got all his anti-government ideas? Not from country music.
The Unabomber – Talking Heads and David Bowie
Ted Kaczynski, best known as The Unabomber, was probably a huge fan of post punk (Talking Heads being his favorite) and Ziggy Stardust era Bowie. His weapon of choice, the homemade bomb in the mail, took a little bit from both of those elements. At once, Kaczynski embraced technology with the construction of his weaponry (kind of like Bowie’s futuristic creation) but was deterred by its madness (much like the underlying theme of every Talking Heads song ever written). Don’t just say he was a coldhearted psychopath; you know it’s more complicated than that.
President Bush – Britney Spears
This one was my wildcard. First off, some people probably have major beef with the inclusion of the President on a list called The Psychotic Elite, though there’s been plenty of research that would support otherwise (or there should be). I just think it’s funny to picture the President singing “Oops, I Did It Again”, alone in the Oval Office, right before he has to give the final order on a super secret Middle Eastern torture op.
