Owned by Uncle Sam: Living Life in the Military

Its July 1st, 2003 and you wake up to see your toddler has come into bed sometime in the night and you hug her tight. Glancing at the clock to see its just after dawn and your spouse is already out the door. You rest your head back down, inhale as much as you can stretch your arms and legs and look over at your daughter opening her eyes with excitement. You smile back but there is some lie behind your smile, you wish that your husband was there to see the sun sparkle on her forehead and dance across her chestnut hair. Brushing it out of her eyes you whisper, “Morning Stinky Face.” In response she giggles while saying, “Morning Mommy, where’s Daddy?” You hoped to be upright before that question came. See today is not like the previous years that you have known. Today your husband starts a new job, he got up early to embark on one heck of an adventure. Aboard the Cutter Seneca, a medium endurance cutter home ported out of Boston, Massachusetts’s your husband is in his finest uniform, requesting permission to come aboard. In the previous days you were used to the Coast Guard, after all you were once in yourself. You went through the basic training, you could explain what it was like to hold a gun in your hand and have to shoot on command, to be yelled at and rushed day in and out for what seemed like countless hours. Ah, but what you weren’t used to was saying “I’ll be by your side.”

In the next eleven days we prepared for the time where I would bring him to the boat and say good bye until September. For us in that moment, it seemed like an eternity. With our little on in her car seat, she looked up to her father with smiles and completely unaware that for the next several weeks it was going to be her and I.

It is before dawn on July 11 when the alarm goes off across the room. It penetrates into my entire body as if to shake awake and cause serious panic. I sit straight up, look around, I see my husband with his eyes wide open and wonder if he fell asleep at all. Before I could ask he responds, ” I watched you sleep all night, I couldn’t help it. To know this is it for the next few months, I just needed to sit and wish this day would never come.” Well, of course since we can’t stop time so the day approached and we dressed ourselves, he grabbed his bags and we got our little one up from her slumber. She is crying because it is just to early to wake up at this hour. The 36 mile drive to the ship was nearly silent with a few comments to each other of reassurance. “It will all be OK, the time will go by fast, we can e-mail.” Squeeze of the hands from his to mine as if to say “I’m sorry.” Before we realized it we arrived on the base. We parked away from the ship so we could soak up the last minutes with another and the three of us just hug and say, “I love you.”

As I drove away, I looked in my rear view and tapped the brakes 3 times rapidly. “I love you.” He raised his hand to say the same back to me. The week following seemed to drag on because that is where my mentality was. The days ran into another and life seemed so gray. This sounds incredibly depressing and makes you wonder, “Why even bother, what makes it so important for you to decide to leave another. After all isn’t family the most important thing in your life?”

Family is priority number one, however, not a moment goes by where I regret that day. I am stronger and have to remain stronger because I took a vow to support my husband. The human mind and body can undergo extreme stresses if you remain an open mind. To frequently people get caught up in the moment and when things get difficult they want to back out. We thought about him not reenlisting after his initial four years, but our country needs our sacrifice to protect our beautiful land and our people.

Since that departure and the thirteen other deployments that followed. My husband was gone collectively around one and a half years. I had to adapt and over come raising one then two daughters on my own, endure many sick nights, trips to the emergency room, thousands of dirty diapers, summer vacations and come across as a single mother, birthdays, anniversaries, big scary doctor appointments in the eyes of my daughters, death, and birth. Each time something happened I wished my husband to be by my side and carry me through. Then I stopped one day and said, “NO.” It is not any one’s duty to carry this family through but our own. It is my vow that I took to not just my husband but Uncle Sam as well. When I married my husband I married the military as well.

While I was taking care of the endless diapers, cries, smiles and laughter’s which in turn made me pain for my husband to watch these moments, he was busy himself. He protected our daughters, and your families in assisting with saving lives, interdicting millions of dollars in narcotics, patrolling our waters ensuring marine laws are abides by and interdicting migrants from illegally entering our country. He saw many foreign countries, took many photos and grew into a stronger man while away.

Life is a balance and to balance it there is good and the not so good. With it I am proud to have served in one of our nation’s five military branches and for my husband’s continued service in the United States Coast Guard. Every day till the end of our time will Uncle Sam own us and I have to accommodate my family for the needs of others and every day I will become more proud and become stronger in doing so. To all families in the armed forces, thank you for sharing this opportunity with me. To all prospective recruits and cadets, fair winds and following seas to you. Stand tall with your confidence up and hug your family for their unconditional support.